Ep 77 | Burnout & Why I Created The Happy Academy

Kim Strobel 00:08 

Hello, everyone, oh my goodness. So I'm sitting here in my office recording podcast episodes. I wish you could see me I'm sitting behind my desk. Of course I've got my running clothes on because when I work from home, I am no makeup, no hair running clothes. And my dog Sophie Rose is in the chair right across the desk for me, she just flinched because she's sleeping. And I'm thinking, I'm getting ready to do an episode on what it looks like and what it feels like to be burned out of our life. And I'm thinking we all just need to be dogs in our next life. Or maybe we all just need to be Kim Strobel dogs, because my dogs are the most spoiled things ever. So I work so hard in this office, and she just, she just lays or lies. I don't remember the right verb tense for that I always get that mixed up. Even though I am a school teacher. 

Kim Strobel 01:04 

I'm  where I was. But I think Oh, she just lies in that chair all day long and just relaxes in her mama works over here on the other side of the desk. So anyway, I want to say hello to all of you, I am going to be talking today about burn out, 

Kim Strobel 01:18 

which is a very real thing. And I'm going to talk about what it looks like in our lives, what it feels like in our lives, why we don't feel like we can get off the hamster wheel and what we can do about it. I sometimes worry that when you follow me on social media and by the way, thank you to all of you who are jumping in our free Facebook group, the she finds joy Facebook group is on fire right now with women and a few strong men. My Instagram at Kim Strobel joy is really starting to light up. And I just love when you guys like take a screenshot of my podcast and you post it you tag me on Instagram or Facebook, I just get so fired up. I'm like this is why I do this because I know that somebody out there needs to hear these messages. And when I was thinking about you know, I always am putting myself out there on social media one because it's part of my brand. And when you're a businesswoman, you do mostly have to do this. But secondly, I'm also just a connector. So I really love to share the good, the bad, all of it. It's just in my nature to be a connector with people. That's what lights me up. That being said, Sometimes I feel like it is really easy to look from the outside in at my life and be like oh my gosh, her life is just so great. Look at her. She's getting on an airplane, she's flying across the country, she's stepping on a stage, she's running her 10 mile run. And it's really easy to be like oh my gosh, you know, this woman just has it all going on. Which is why I'm very transparent, especially in my facebook group. And on Instagram, that look, it's not all sunshine butterfly in sprinkles. And I really feel like I have to show you all the other side of things even though that kind of opens up windows to my private life. Because I never want it to appear that I have all my shit together. Because I don't write I'm a human being. I'm a human being who has fantastic, wonderful, amazing, out of this world dreams that keep coming true. And I do the work on the back end to achieve those dreams. But I'm also someone who like sometimes feels really bone tired in my body. And I feel like everyone and everything is sucking the life out of me. And I can't get off my own hamster wheel. And you know, sometimes we teach that which we most need to learn. And for me, I know personally that I'm an overachiever, right? I'm an I'm a natural giver. I'm an overachiever. And I achieve and I achieve and I achieve because it feels really good. And I really love to pump energy, light, encouragement, all of that into people. And it makes me feel so happy when I work with people. And I see that transformation happen. It's just like the there's a been a group of people who went through my happy Academy. I'm not sure if you guys know about the happy Academy, but it's my 10 month program that is focused on doing the internal work of really finding joy in our life, again, overcoming the cycles of distress and frustration and exhaustion, and really stepping in to the women, the mothers, the wives, the partners, the 

whoever it is that we want to be really stepping authentically into ourselves. And you know the COVID virus, it gave me this really great opportunity to create this 10 month program because I've always wanted, like a first I was just creating it for school teachers, I'm not gonna lie. At first I was like, you know what I believe so much in social and emotional well being. For students, right? I always wanted students to leave my classroom and not just be better readers and better math, math, you know, math students, and all of that I wanted them to leave my classroom and be good at life, I wanted to teach them all of the stuff that it took me till I was 30 and 40, something years old to learn, I wanted to teach them as young little kids, I wanted to teach them, how to calm themselves, how to breathe correctly, how to meditate, how to find gratitude in their life, how to believe in themselves, how to reclaim their authentic self, like I wanted to teach kids how to be their courageous self. In it, I was so adamant about that as a school teacher in the classroom. And then when I got into the speaking realm, and launched my own consulting business, I became on fire with doing that very same thing with teachers, because I saw that teachers just were completely burned out, overwhelmed, frustrated, and this, this degree, this calling that came to them years ago, because they believe that they have the ability to change kids lives. I also saw like what it was doing for them. And so I became on fire with this social and emotional well being piece with teachers. And last year, during COVID, when I went from being on 100 stages a year to being on four. I was like, Okay, I've got a pivot this business, what is it that I have never had the time to do that I really want to do? Well, I wanted to create a social and emotional program course, whatever you want to call it, something that would actually help people pivot in their life. And so I decided, let's do this trouble. And I cranked out this 10 month program. And I was thinking, How can I teach others how to do this, but in a way, that's like, not one more darn thing they have to do, right? Like, Oh, my gosh, I can't enroll in a 10 month course, like I'm already stressed out, I don't have time to breathe, I can't keep the house clean, I can't stay on top of the laundry, I can't get the kids where they need to be like, and now I'm supposed to do a course on like, you know how to break myself free from all the chains of life when I can't even find a moment to breathe. And so I really thought this through because you guys know, I have other coaching programs. I have the intense, you know, 90 day coaching program that I'm really passionate about too. But I was like, how do I create something where I can deliver it in teeny tiny little actionable steps, teeny tiny little videos where I teach you one tiny habit, one tiny habit each month, that's going to really shift your life in the right direction. And so that's what I did you guys, I created this 10 month program. And as I got into teaching it, I was like, wait a minute. This is not just for teachers, like teachers definitely weigh heavy on my heart. Because I know what it feels like to be in the inside of the classroom. I know the heaviness of that profession. But I'm equally passionate about helping all women really reclaim their their joy really step into the version of who they are on the inside. And as I was posting some of the stuff in the Facebook group, I noticed that a lot of women who weren't teachers were like, would you consider creating something 

like this? Like, if you're not a teacher, I really feel like I need to know, you know how I can work on my marriage or how I can rewire my anxious brain or how I can create healthy eating habits or how can I overcome perfectionism, right? And so they were like, Look, this is not just for school teachers, we all as women, we need this program. And so that's when I decided, Okay, I'm going to create it. And it's going to be for any, any person who really wants to leverage their mindset and overcome their limiting beliefs. And you guys, I'm so proud of myself, I did it and I promise you, this is going to relate to the burnout that I'm getting ready to talk to you about okay, because I just finished the month number 10 with all of the people who went through the happy Academy. I'm just going to tell you the work they did on themselves is an like, they literally look different in month 10 than they looked in month one. I and this is where I feel like a lot of gratitude because I'm like, even though I'm still constantly working on myself, even though I teach people how to increase their happiness levels by up to 40%. I teach people how to make really big leaps in their life, how to overcome limiting beliefs, how to do the subconscious work so they can really find that special gym, that special sauce, that special part of themselves that they get to honor while they are raising their kids while they are being a working mother while they're, you know being a spouse and a partner and all of those things and it's okay that I, too still struggle with some of these things, because I am not a perfect work of art, right. And I want to be really clear about that with all of you as I talk to you about burnout, as I say, Hey, I am the happiness coach coach who helps people overcome burnout. But here's what you need to know. And some of you who follow me on social media, you saw this 

post, right? 

Kim Strobel 10:22 

Like I literally had my eyes pinched together, closed, tight. my fingertips were pinching my eyes. And I was saying, and I was at my desk crying, saying here, I Here I go, I've done it again. I have burnt myself out the last couple of months. I have nothing left in me. What does this look like in my own life? Well, let me just tell you, I don't know what burnout looks like to you. But for me, it looks like I get irritated at every single thing. I get irritated when I walk by and there's a miscellaneous sock on the floor, I get irritated when I walk in the laundry room and somebody hasn't taken their wet clothes out of the washer and transport them over to the dryer because everybody in my house does their own laundry, we started that with our kids, when they were in fifth grade, I get irritated when I walk in the kitchen and somebody made a protein shake, and there's protein powder all over the counter, I snap, I get frustrated, I get angry, I walk really fast. I start moving fast talking 

fast I you can just tell like I am like a woman who's on fire, but I'm on fire for the wrong reasons. Right. And for me, I can also tell because it's like my mind starts to focus on every negative thing that's going on, instead of seeing or even putting into perspective, some of the things that are going well, you know, and I think like all of us can relate to this in some way. You know, when I ask people, what does burnout look like to you? or What does it feel like? They say it feels really suffocating him. Like I can never get ahead. Like I work and I do and I stay organized. And I do all of this stuff. And it's never enough. I can never get ahead, or someone else that it feels like I'm everything to everyone. But I don't get to count in the equation. Do you ever feel like that? I know, I had a moment on Facebook when I did a Facebook Live recently. And I was so stinking mad at my son and my husband that I couldn't see straight. Why? Well, I'm married to a fantastic man. But he is just never going to be the disciplinarian in our household, which means that 999 times out of 1000 that I need to say, hey, Spencer, we need your help. Hey, Spencer, unload the dishwasher. Hey, Spencer, can you vacuum the floors? Hey, Spencer, you turned your iPhone, find your iPhone app off, and I can't I don't see where you are anymore. Anytime. any of that has to be done. Guess who has to do it? It's me. Right? So there I am. I'm the bad cop. Right? And my husband Oh, my, you know, our son thinks he's great. Why? Because he never has to tell him to do anything. He never has to say, dude, we pay for your phone, you don't turn your location services off. We are going to track you. We want to know when your you've arrived back at Bloomington. You know, we want to know, if you haven't come home at three in the morning, we want to be able to click on that little app and say, oh, okay, well, he's at a friend's house. He's fine. But guess what, I'm the one that has to do all that. Now, I'm not over here bashing my husband because he has a million other great traits. I'm just saying, This is what it looks like sometimes, and it feels yucky. I know that when I'm burned out, I step into like bitterness and resentment, right. And things build up. And I can start collecting evidence of all the shit that I do to run this family. And I can also begin to collect evidence of everything that everybody else in the family is doing wrong, according to how this family needs to operate with kids. According to Kim Strobel, do you guys ever feel like that? You know, I know that some of the people said burnout feels like depression, like being completely lost from the person that I used to be like, I didn't know when I decided to become a wife and a mother that I was going to have to completely say goodbye to anything else that used to bring me joy and just step into these roles for the next 18 years. Well, guess what, sister? You don't have to do that. Yes, that's an age old construct that was taught to us by our mothers and our grandmothers. But the bottom line is if you want to turn into resentment and anger, then you give everything to everybody else and decide that you don't count in the equation, because that's going to turn you in to a very negative, you know, resentful person we now know better. Even though we know better, I still catch myself in this trap of doing this of being everything to every one. I know I'm giving another example. Thank god Scott Strobel doesn't listen to the podcast because I get I'm not trying to slam him. I just do real 

damn talk with you guys. Okay, here's the deal. The dentist office called last week they're like, hey, did Scott ever get his dental car? Did he ever get his insurance? I'm like, this is what I said. Now granted, Miami. Is the dentist so I know her receptionist very well, I was like, Alright, here's the deal, Betty, he is 55 years old, and I'm not going to babysit him. Here's his cell phone number, you can call, you can ask him if he got the insurance card, because frankly, I am tired of babysitting in my household. I am 47 years old with a 55 year old husband, and an almost 21 year old son, and I'm tired of keeping track of what they're supposed to do. Right. And again, if you're a man, and you're listening to this, you're probably like, Kim, you're being such a, you know what I'm just saying, this is how it feels, when I am not tapped into my authentic self, when I feel like I have nothing else to give. This is the person that I turn into. And I now recognize it. I see the signs, I see the symptoms. And thankfully, because of the work I've done on myself for the last 20 years, I catch myself when it's time to reflect when it's time to say, Hey, this is not who you want to become. This is not how you want to feel on a daily basis. And then I get myself out of the gutter and I get out of that insanity cycle. I get out of it. I used to not get out of it, because I didn't know any better. Until I learned that there are other choices that there are other options. And that sometimes I'm the only person getting in my own damn way. And so when I'm thinking about the happy Academy, I, I teach in that program a lot about how do we get out of our way? How do we start to see viable options that we didn't think were options for us? 

How do 

Kim Strobel 16:37 

we actually, in our calendar, prioritize ourselves first, I can I can shout out to the rooftops all day long. Hey, ladies, you need to make sure you schedule yourself first in your calendar, and you're going are you kidding me? Kim, like that is not a viable option. Ladies, it is and I show you how to do it. I show you how to do all of these things in the 10 month program. But what I want to tell you is that we all suffer from burnout at times, we are not alone in our frustration. It is okay to feel frustrated with our spouse, it is okay to feel frustrated with our children. It is okay to not like being a parent some of the time. I always kind of giggle and laugh. But here's the deal. There's a reason that the happiness research says that when you become a mom or a dad, you become a little less happy for the rest of your life. You know why? You become a little less happy? Because you're stressed the hell out? Right? Like that's stress. Like, don't get me wrong, you guys, my son is my freak. He's the hands down best freakin gift I have ever been given. And he's a great 

kid. He's been a bit of a shit the last five years because he's in that like, you know, 15 to 20 year old range. So at times he can become that little you know what, but I love being his mother. That being said, the stress of being a mother can sometimes feel so heavy that I'm sure it takes away pieces of my happiness. And so I always laugh when I'm on stage. And I'm like, guess what, you guys, there's a reason you're not happy. Y'all decided to have kids. And they all laugh and carry on. But it's true, right? Like, yes, I have more meaning in my life. Yes, maybe I have more joy in my life. But yes, I also have a layer of stress in my life. It's the same reason that my mom Mary Jo stable house, to this day, she'll be like, Hey, honey, when your plane lands, shoot me a text. Hey, honey, when you pull your car in the driveway, shoot me a text. It's like I'm 47. And my mom still worries about me, because that's just in our nature. So I will be talking more about this idea of burnout and ways that we can overcome it. But I want to also let you guys know that I have decided that I'm opening the happy Academy. I am opening that opening that up this next year, we launch it this summer, so I only have a waitlist right now. Okay. And if you want to be one of the first people to find out when the happy Academy doors open, then I'm going to tell you exactly where to sign up and get yourself on the waitlist. Okay, I'm going to drop this in the show notes. Okay, but you're basically going to go to Strobel education.com. And then you're going to click on the happy Academy or I'll actually put the whole link in there. So it's struggle education.com and then it's the dash happy dash Academy and you're going to see a pink button that says join the waitlist. If you want to be the first person one of the first to know when I launched this. You're gonna want to join that because I will tell you that instead of me coming and like getting you super inspired. This is a 10 month program where we walk you step by step through how to truly get yourself back how to find that special darn sauce. That is you how to schedule yourself first in your life, how to figure out who you even are, because let me tell you what 95% of how you show up in your life is coming from your logical mind. And 95% of how you show up is coming from your subconscious mind. And your subconscious mind is where your beliefs are held. And we work on your belief and value systems throughout this whole program, you guys, that's how I get you to start to see results in your life because I don't work with your logical mind. Not much. That's only 5%. But it's the only part that any of us have been trained to work on. What we do is we work on the subconscious mind. And that is driving 95% of how you show up in your life. And those are the pieces that have been covered up from society, from your caregivers, from your community. I mean, there's pieces and pieces and pieces and pieces that people take away from us throughout our whole life that we don't even know who we are anymore. We don't even know what do what do I really want. How do I want to feel everyday? How do I make sure I feel that way every day? What can I do to ensure that these you know, we don't know how to do that because we were never taught? Well, I know how to do that. Now you guys it took years of suffering, I'm not gonna lie, you and I still suffer. You guys know this. But I do have like a different foundational blueprint inside of me that I now draw upon. So if you want to get on the 

happy Academy waitlist, you're going to go to struggle, education, comm slash the th E dash happy dash Academy, slash and I will drop that into the show notes notes. I also want to end by giving a shout out here to Suzy who left a review on my podcast I have to tell you guys it is so fun for me to go to my podcast and read the reviews because it's like okay, we have 1000s of people every episode who are downloading our episode who are listening to it, who are commenting on it, who are sharing it, and then many of them will go down and they will leave us a review and I just get so excited because I never know what's going to resonate. But here is what Suzy posted Suzy posted. I am so glad I discovered this podcast Kim. I love your honest, transparent nature mixed with actionable steps I can use to bring more joy to my life. Susie pedot thank you so much Susie, I do try to be transparent. I hope I was transparent in this podcast episode. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I don't care. I just want to be your cup of tea. If I'm your cup of tea. You keep listening to this podcast because I've got a lot more to say. Thanks so much guys for being here and thanks Susie for leaving that awesome review.