The reason you can’t create behavior change or habit change in your life has nothing to do with you or your willpower. It has to do with your system. Having a goal isn’t enough to achieve the result. And the size of your goal doesn’t correlate with the size of your results.
Instead, put your energy into building a system to support your success in your habits. You might have a system for reading each night before you go to bed. A system for when, how long, and where you exercise. Creating systems is the foundation to you implementing new behaviors and habits in your life. This is where you need to spend your energy—in the system.
In this episode of the She Finds Joy podcast, learn why:
- It’s not about goals, it’s about systems.
- The problem isn’t your willpower; it’s your system. Are you creating an environment or ritual that sets you up for success?
- Breakthroughs come suddenly after repeating a system, not all at once while chasing a goal.
- Habits act like compound interest when it comes to getting results.
- Your outcomes directly correlate with the measure of the habits that you have in your life.
- Downloading a new set of beliefs changes your next right action.
- The trick isn’t to have massive willpower; the trick is to create an environment where it’s easier to make the right choices. This is your system.
“You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.”— James Clear, Atomic Habits
Kim Strobel is Chief Happiness Officer at Kim Strobel Live Events and Retreats. She is a teacher, consultant, motivational speaker, happiness coach, and a mission-minded person whose passion is helping others overcome their fears and discover their joy! You can follow Kim’s journey on Instagram at @KimStrobelJoy and in the free private, She Finds Joy Facebook community.
Kim Strobel 00:04
All right, in our last episode we are we were talking about 1%, or one degree changes in our life and how we don’t have to implement like these massive actions in order to get results that we can actually truly implement a one degree or a 1% change in our life to get really big results. And so I want to go a little bit further
Kim Strobel 00:33
with you on this topic. Because I felt like there’s a little bit more that I want you to understand, and I want you to know, and so, everyone I know wants to create habits or have goals. They’re like, I want more confidence or I want to become happier or I want to start an exercise routine or I want to improve my marriage, but they can’t make it happen, right or they try and they fail. They try and they fail. And so what I want you to understand today, first of all, is I want you to understand why you’re failing. And we all fail me included. And I know, I know why I’m failing. Now, it’s because it’s not, it doesn’t really have a lot to do with you personally or me. It has to do with the system, the system that you’re using. Most people think that they’re they don’t have enough willpower to reach their goal or to implement this change in their life. But what they don’t understand is it’s really not their willpower. That’s the problem. It’s the system that they’re using. And in fact, one of my favorite quotes is you do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems, and that is by James clear who wrote atomic habits and I’ll make sure and drop that book in the show notes. And so, again, you do not rise to the level of your goals you fall to the level of your system.
Kim Strobel 02:14
So, this is what we need to do we need to create systems. You know, I was just talking to the women who are in my 90 day program that finished a few months ago. And I kept explaining to them look, this is about implementing teeny tiny changes in your life, staying true to the course or to the path because what we’re really doing is I’ve created a system that I know will get you there that will get you these massive results. But what you need to understand is we’re making these teeny tiny one degree shifts, because we’re actually creating a new foundation. They’re creating a new foundation. And if they still stay true to this work, right, that those tiny changes are going to act
Kim Strobel 03:10
like compound interest. And that will continue to escalate their life, and it will get them big time forward momentum, which is this whole massive ripple effect that we’re talking about. And so you know, when I even look back to I’ve launched now a four different groups of women who I have walked through my 90 day program, and I know that the women probably in cohorts, one and two, are probably experiencing way bigger changes in their life, you know, a year out from my program in my course, because we really laid the foundation and those changes work as combined interest and they start to accumulate that interest in their life and those choices. ranges start to get bigger and bigger and bigger because they gain that momentum. So what happens is this 1% change in our life, or 1% degree that we’re trying to shift can work either way. Again, we talked a little bit about that in the previous result, or sorry, the previous episode. If you’re not getting the results that you want in your life. It’s not you. And I have to always tell women this, right? Because they’re always like, Well, I’m not losing the weight, or I’m not shifting my body or I’m not saving money, or I’m not writing that book, or I’m not launching my book, you know, I’m not launching my business. And so what we know is we get these really big things that kind of loom over us. And it feels like this massive thing that I’m going to have to you know, do all This all of it perfectly and do it right now. And if I don’t make that kind of commitment, it’s not going to happen. It’s kind of like, like me, I’m, I’ve been writing a book for three years. And the book in itself feels so big and so heavy. I’m like, I’m never gonna get there. And so I keep talking myself out of it. And what I really need to do is say, hey, these are the number of words I’m going to write every week. I don’t have to write a ton, maybe it’s 500. Or maybe it’s 500 a day, or it’s 2000 a month. But instead, I keep telling myself, Oh my gosh, I got to write 36 chapters, 70,000 words, and it’s just all consuming. Instead of breaking it down into a system that’s going to make me accountable that’s going to set me up for success. I just need to take the next little small step. And I need to do that repeatedly. over and over and over and when I can do that Then I will be able to produce the result, okay? And it’s the same with you, because your outcomes are in direct correlation to the measure of the habits that you have in your life. And those habits are a result of whether or not you’ve created a system that sets you up for success, right? It’s just like, you know, your net worth your net worth, whatever you are worth when it comes to dollars that’s in direct correlation to the measure of your financial habits. Your weight is in direct correlation to the system you have of being able to eat healthy, healthy, or the amount of exercise you’re getting, or the amount of knowledge that’s in your head on certain topics. That is all in direct correlation to the habits you have right? Are you reading a book a week, if you’re reading a book a week, then you’re gaining lots and lots of Lots of knowledge in your head. And over time, that knowledge turns into these massive results that you’re implementing in your life. And so we have to be able to create a system or rituals in our life, because that’s what it’s going to take is a system that supports our 1% or one degree change. So let me give you an analogy, an analogy here, because I know we talked a lot about the one degree shift in your life or the one degree change. And so let me give you an analogy that’s going to help you understand this, okay? Remember, it’s not noticeable at first. That’s why we all cop out. And so let’s pretend I have an ice cube right now in front of me. And the temperature is 33 degrees. And nothing is happening to that ice cube right? It’s still in total solid form. It’s not sweating. It looks just like it did. Now All of a sudden, right or if it’s 32 degrees, I guess 32 degrees would be, you know, freezing, so to speak. Now, what happens is, nothing really happens at 33 degrees, right, and maybe a little bit at 34 degrees, but not much. But all of a sudden, all of a sudden, that may be 38 degrees or whatever it is 36 degrees, all of a sudden, that ice starts to melt, right? Maybe there wasn’t a really big difference between 32 and 33. But all of a sudden at 34. One degree made all the difference. Ice Cube changed shape. We didn’t notice a change at any of the other levels, but all of a sudden, at that one degree temperature change, the ice begins to change shape. And so it’s these kind of breakthrough moments, folks that we’re all chasing after That actually happen, because they are a result of many previous repeatable small actions over and over and over and over. And that’s how we get a different result. That’s what actually adds up to really big changes in our life. And here’s the other thing that we do, that I’ve learned a lot about is that we also expect for these changes these habits to kind of happen in like a linear fashion, right? And so it’s stressful, because we don’t see progress at first, or we don’t see it within the first few weeks. Or maybe we don’t see it within the first month or even after the first year. Right. And so we again, we feel like nothing is shifting. And I’m going to call out the women in my 90 day program again, because some of them at first thought this was just going to be a magic pill and they were immediately going to completely change their life, change their relationships, change their money mindset, be able to attract abundance, be able to attract and create the perfect marriage be able to go after their dream job or create their dream business. And some
Kim Strobel 10:14
of them thought like, Oh, I’m gonna go through this program, and in 90 days, all of these massive things are going to happen. And I always tell them, I always wait for this to happen, because we get a few modules in and they’re like, I’m not seeing the big, big results, you know, and what I have to do is I have to draw them back in and say, Look, stay true to the work, what we’re doing is we’re making small little tiny changes in your life, little right actions. Over time, we are re building the foundation, and you will get the ripple effects of you planting those seeds right now, right and it might be two steps forward and one day Have steps back. And I remember Angie in the course she was like, you know, I’m ready to give up like, none of this stuff is working. And you know, and I said, stay true to the course, Angie, because you’re making momentum, even if you’re not seeing it yet. And sure enough, by the time we started getting to the end of the course, you know, she was like, I can’t believe this is happening, Kim, it’s actually working. And I’m like, Yes, it is Angie. And guess what, six months from now, it will be even better six years from now, it will be even better because you have follow the system. You have followed a framework that when you stay mostly diligent to it, it will happen. It’s just not always in linear form. All right, and so we give up too easily, folks, you come out on yourself. You say, Kim, I’ve been running for a month and it’s still super hard, right? Well, yeah, it might be because it might take you three months, it might take you six months to adjust until it becomes just a part of who you You are it does not happen over night. You know, I know a lot of times when I stand in front of a large crowd and you know, I get it, I look like a runner I run 35 miles a week, I still hold the track record at my high school, you know, 30 years later. But here’s the thing. I also live in a county where we have the biggest loser winners come in several years ago to our health club. And those people they talked about how they were never athletes, how they were 300 pounds overweight, how they trained and they downloaded a new set of beliefs in their mind and body. And they started taking little teeny tiny, different actions every single day. Right? Even though they were never athletes, even though they could never run even though they were 300 pounds overweight and they had to struggle and make teeny tiny changes over time. And over time, those teeny tiny changes lead to massive results, right? But you have to persist. You have to persist in order to start to get the gains. Right. And what happens is when you’re looking to attain a goal, a relationship goal, a weight goal, a fitness goal, a spiritual goal, a business goal. We are waiting, we won’t stick with it. If we don’t start seeing massive results. What I need you to do is to simply move the needle in your life by 1% by 1%. Every single day, and your life will start to work like combined interest. But in order to do that, you have to have a system in place, you have to have a system that enables you to actually reach your goal. Again, I want to reiterate, reiterate that it’s not you and it’s not your willpower, it’s that you’re expecting too much of yourself. And you cop out on yourself before the combined interest of your life begins to take hold before you start to get that ripple effect. And so I also want to give you some research around, you know why we all need help, why we can’t do it alone. You know, this is exactly why people do join my 90 day program because I took 20 years of research 20 years of reading, hundreds of books, 20 years of going and attending self help. Personal Development classes. And what I did is I looked across 20 years and said, Kim, how did you how did you go from making $8 an hour to making $8,000 an hour? How did you go from a terribly toxic, horrible relationship to an exceptional relationship? A whole lot of the time? How did you get out of toxic work environments and launch not one, but two businesses. And so what I did is I combed through the 20 years worth of stuff that I did and said, Hey, what is the framework? What are the nine things that I did? And I did them over and over and over and over, that led me to getting these really big results in my life because folks, it’s replanting, a foundation that’s made up of small repeatable actions. But here’s the research I want to give you because I also feel like you put too much pressure on yourself. Here’s what we know, of people who consciously decide to set a goal. They say hey, This is a goal I’m going to set. If they consciously decide that in their brain 25% of them will actually achieve their goal. Now of people who don’t just consciously decide in their brain to set a goal, but they decide when they will do it, right, I will lose 20 pounds within the next three months, I will begin an exercise routine three times a week. And this is when it’s going to happen of those people who don’t just consciously decide to set the goal, but who decide they will do it when when it’s going to happen. 40% of them achieve their goal now, of people who plan how they will do it 50% of them achieve their goal. So let me break this down for you. Let’s say I have a goal to run a marathon, I decide I’m going to do it, I have a 25% chance of achieving that goal. But if I go one step further, and I say, not only am I deciding to do it, but I’m going to run that marathon in April of 2021. Now I’ve decided when I’m going to do it, right when it’s going to happen, I’ve signed up for the race or whatever. Now I’ve increased my chances of 40%. But of people who actually plan how they will do it, 50% of them achieve their goal. So that means I print out the 17 or 16 week marathon training plan. I posted on my mirror, I know every day how many miles I need to run. That’s how you that’s planning a goal. Now of people who consciously commit to someone else that they will do it by call up my friend and I think Say, Hey, I just signed up for the Louisville marathon April 23. I’m committing to you that I’m going to do this, they have a 65% chance of achieving their goal. Now, here’s the piece of research that I think is stunning. And by the way, this all comes from the American Society for training and development. But of people who go just one step further, they have a specific accountability appointment with the person they committed to, they have a 95% chance of achieving their goal, which is why I see women all of the time who want to change their life, who want to create a life that they really love, that they’re damn excited to wake up and live every day. But year after year, after year after year, they can’t make it happen. And that’s truly that’s Where my 90 day program comes in, because I make sure that you decide when you’re going to do it, you plan exactly how you’re going to implement this stuff in your life you commit to me both through a financial obligation and through a verbal obligation that you’re going to do it. And I have an accountability appointment with you making sure that these are the changes that you actually implement in your life, which is why you get the success. And so I really want you to understand the research because again, it’s not you it’s not your willpower. It’s Do you have a system? Do you have a framework that you’re following a proven framework that you know, works, that gets the results? Do you have a system, a system that’s going to set you up to be 95% successful in achieving your goal? Now, you know, not everybody wants to go through the 90 day program, not everybody wants to get the kind of results that The women in my program get so let’s bring this right back down to you my listeners who are like okay Kim, but maybe I don’t, I don’t want these big massive results but I do want to implement a healthy habit in my life but I need a system. All right. So let me give you an example of a system. A system is something that happens kind of like a ritual right? a sequence of events that happens that makes you successful. So I have a morning system a morning system that ensures I get exercise ensures I do my gratitude list ensures I have my affirmations written chairs I walk my dogs and so here’s the system that works for for Kim Strobel and I’m going to talk you through like my morning ritual. Okay. I’ll be honest with you, I wake up a rollover, I grab my cell phone and I start to scroll Facebook probably for about 10 or 15 minutes. I don’t know it’s just like the way that I wake myself up. So I scroll Facebook. I’m kind of getting myself awake. Immediately I go in the bathroom, I put on my gym shorts, I put on my gym top, I lace up my tennis shoes, and then I go sit on my back deck or I sit at my kitchen table and I make my dream My flavored water. I get my breakfast made and I sit down with my gratitude journal and I write out 10 things I’m thankful for. And then I
write out my 10 affirmations the same Tim 10 affirmations every single day. Then I get out maybe my little self help book that I’m reading and I’ll read a chapter or two right I have this like morning routine that happens and then after that, I close that up. I go leash my dogs up I take them for their half mile loop around the neighborhood I come home, I bring the walking dogs back and I keep you know right now Sophie my running partner I keep Sophie on the leash because Sophie is my running partner. George is hurt right now. So then I go for my five mile run as soon as I get back, then I get home I shower, and now it’s time to work. That is the routine that sets Kim Strobel up every single day for success. And if I veer from that routine, then those things don’t happen. And I’m going to give you an example of that today. For whatever reason I got up, I immediately took the dogs for a walk, then I went for my run, then I took a shower, and then I started work. I did not follow my normal system that makes me successful. Therefore, it’s 430. I still haven’t written my gratitudes I still haven’t done my affirmations. I’m out of sorts today, because I didn’t follow the system that makes me successful. And so you have to figure out what is the system that is going to help you actually achieve the goal. What’s the ritual? what time of day is it going to happen? When is it going to happen? How is it going to happen? Are you going to have an account accountability partner, because that’s how we actually make these teeny tiny, one degree shifts 1% shifts in our life. That’s what helps leads us to success. But you have to be willing to know you’re not going to see the change overnight, that it’s working as combined interest. And you have to figure out how do you create a system in your life that sets you up to be successful. That’s what I want for each and every one of you. And if you’re like Kim, I don’t have a system. Well, that’s when you can go in you can apply you can be one of the first people to find out when I launched the next 90 day program because in that program, I give you the system. I give you the coaching, I give you the accountability, I give you the hand holding, which is why we get really good six six results. The women in our program Grant experience really big shifts in their life. Because they’re putting they’re creating, they have the system. They have the framework that works in their life because I’ve given it to them. So again, if you’re somebody like hey, I want the system, feel free to hop on over to www dot Kim strobel.com and you’re gonna see right in there, sign up for the waitlist and you can get on the waitlist and be one of the first people to find out when we launch the next cohort.