June 30

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Ep 52 | The Happiness Mindset: Your Happiness Matters

By Kim Strobel

June 30, 2021


All of us want to be happy, even if we don’t want to admit it or we feel like it’s a frivolous thing to talk about. Some of us want professional success, to find the right partner, spiritual fulfilment, and others yearn for passion and purpose in their life. However, what holds true among almost everyone is that our culture looks at the happiness formula backwards. We think “If I get that job, then I’ll be happy,” or “When I get married, then I’ll be happy.” It’s a backwards mindset. 

See, when we take the time to recognize the opportunities, abundance, and blessings in our life, we begin to attract strong, better relationships. We begin to grow in our personal lives and our careers. It’s important that we let go of the unhealthy, deep-seated assumptions about what happiness looks like and start focusing more on what makes you happy in the here and now.  

We need to make happiness a priority in our lives. To put it at the forefront of everything we do.

Listen On: iTunes | Google Play | Stitcher | Spotify

Tune in to Learn more about…

  • How to shift to a happiness-focused mindset. 
  • Simple happiness habits you can form to build your happiness. 
  • Why your happiness changes every single outcome—career, business, relationships, money, creativity… 
  • How happiness helps you attract your wants and desires.  
  • What our happiness baseline is and where it comes from. 
  • The Pie Chart of Happiness: 50% genetic, 10% circumstances, and 40% thoughts, behaviors, and actions.

When your brain is positive, you shift every single outcome in your life.” – Kim Strobel

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, we’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram Stories and tag me @kimstrobeljoy.

Helpful Links

Get on the waitlist for The Happy Academy now!

About Kim

Kim Strobel is Chief Happiness Officer at Kim Strobel Live Events and Retreats. She is a teacher, consultant, motivational speaker, happiness coach, and a mission-minded person whose passion helps others overcome their fears and discover their joy!

You can follow Kim’s journey on Instagram at @KimStrobelJoy, and in the free private, She Finds Joy Facebook community.


 Love this episode and want to continue the conversation with me and other like minded individuals? Join the free private, She Finds Joy Facebook community.

Kim I'm Kim Strobel and this is she finds joy. I've struggled with overcoming adversities throughout my life, feeling defeated and not having the confidence to go after what I wanted. But within every adversity, it can also sow the seeds for something more in our lives. For me, that is teaching others to step into the arena of fitness, all while doing hard things, and reaching for more joy and happiness along the way. I'm a truth telling real top happiness coach who believes in giving you the tools to create a life you love.

Welcome to the zero fluff, no BS advice that gives you the small steps for big joy. Hello, everyone, and welcome to day one, that happiness mindset. Now, sometimes I think that we misconstrue this idea of happiness. And I know even for myself whenever I step on a stage, and I'm introduced as the happiness coach, and I walk on, and I feel a little bit like I always tell the audience I'm like, this doesn't mean that I'm like sunshine, butterflies and unicorns all the time. So there's this misperception sometimes that even Kim's trouble walks around, and she's  just happy, happy,  happy all of the time.

I'm not gonna lie to you, I have a contagious enthusiasm for life, I feel happy and positive a lot of the time. But I also have happiness habits that are a part of my life that helped me set myself up for that.

But that  doesn't mean that I don't lay on my office floor sometimes and cry or that I don't have days where I feel sad. And so we have to be really careful with this word happiness, because sometimes it can leave us feeling like we're less than, right. So and we all have different dispositions. I mean, I'm wildly spirited, that's just who I am. I'm an extrovert I, I'm a connector, I love to share. But someone else who's quieter, who, who doesn't want to talk so much, who doesn't like have tons of energy doesn't mean that they are doing happiness wrong. So I want to talk about happiness and what that looks like, and how we can actually begin to shift to a happier mindset. Because the issue is, is we put happiness on the back burner. For years, we've even been kind of told that happiness is frivolous, and who has time to go after and create more happiness, just, you know, get your degree and get a good job and make a lot of money and try to pay your bills or buy the big house or get the new car.

And, you know, on the other side of all of those big things, there lies happiness. The issue is you guys that the formula is backwards, what we know from the last 15 years of research is that it is time for us to put our happiness at the forefront. Because when we do that happiness actually fuels success. Happiness changes every other outcome. Because when we can get your brain that positive, you start to see opportunities where you didn't see opportunities before you start to have creativity that was previously shut down for you, you start to see that there's more blessings and more abundance in your life, you start to attract stronger, better relationships in your life. And so this idea of, you know, achieve all of these things first. And once you do all of that, then you arrive at happiness, that formula is actually backwards.

What we know is that happiness needs to be at the forefront of your life, because it's actually happiness, that fuels success. It's happiness, that gives you abundance, it's happiness, that helps you attract the right job, the right partner, create an exercise routine, whatever it is create healthy boundaries, all of those things come from you being able to figure out and make yourself a priority in your life, which we're going to talk about in tomorrow's mindset, the self care mindset. But today, I want to explain the happiness research to you. We all have what's called a set baseline happiness level, maybe your set baseline happiness level is here. And maybe my set baseline happiness level is here, which means you and I get a new job or a new car or a new purse, or a new pair of shoes, or a new golf club or a new partner, whatever it is.

And our happiness level does go up for a period of time, a very short period of time. And what happens is our happiness level always goes back to baseline. So if my baseline happiness level is here, and I go out and I buy a new pair of shoes or a new purse, or I get a new job or whatever it is my happiness level is going to go up for a period of time. Could be one day could be eight hours could be two months, but my happiness is always going to come back to my baseline Now what's interesting about all of this brain research out of Harvard University, University of Pennsylvania, where they've studied this for 50 years, is the same is true for the really hard things that happen in our life, we actually know that the human brain is super resilient, and that for most human beings, you can endure really hard things in your life.

You can endure trauma, and illness and sickness and loss, and divorce, and all of these really stressful things. But for most of us, for like 99.6% of us, most of us are going to go back to our happiness baseline, after a certain amount of time. I want to pop in here real quick and tell you about the happy Academy which launches later this summer. I think it's time to start doing things differently.

When I think back to where would I be if I had not taken action to become who I am now? The honest truth stuck, right where I used to be broke, tired, exhausted, unfulfilled, and afraid to shine my own light? Yes. Now I'm a motivational speaker making six figures with loyal audiences all around the world. Yes, now I have a podcast.

Yes, I wake up every day excited to live my life. Yes, I still have obstacles to overcome, and things that get in the way. But I am a different person than I used to be. And that my friends has made all of the difference in the world. I no longer let perfectionism hold me back from going after what I want. I no longer let other people's opinions of me define who I am and how I show up in this world. And I no longer give my value away to people who will never give it back. How did I do it? here's the trick that caused a major breakthrough. I found leaders and coaches to guide me, I want to invite you to join me for the happy Academy that launches later this summer, where I will teach you how to overcome the obstacles that are holding you back.

And that strategies that will help you tap in to the powerful, big bold woman you are meant to be. If you don't step forward with confidence, believing in the power of your dreams, you risk sitting on the sidelines your whole life, you risk never seen your dreams manifest, and you're playing small, my friends does not serve the world. The world needs your magic, the world needs your magic step fourth, your time is now the world just can't afford to wait any longer. Go to Strobel education, comm forward slash the dash happy dash Academy forward slash to get on our waitlist. So you are the first to know about when it launches later this summer. Now I like to keep things real. And if you're like me, you're thinking, well, there's just such certain things that a person maybe has had to endure in their life, like trauma, or atrocities or in justices or loss, there are certain things that you just feel like you would never regain your happiness after.

But the research says that most of the time, human beings do go back to their baseline. And so if I were to ask you right now, do you know somebody who has endured horrific things? terrible loss, terrible tragedy, terrible illness, whatever, you  know, loss, whatever it is, and do most of those people eventually go on to live a very joy filled life?

I'm going to guess that your answer is yes, that we have proof of this all over our life. I know for me, I always think of Ellie Zell, he, you know, he was placed in a concentration camp. He lost his wife, he lost his unborn baby, he lost his mother, dad and his sisters, they all died. And he went through a terrible, terrible time in this concentration camp. But le possehl went on to live a great joy filled meaningful life. So some of you might be asking, well, where does this set baseline happiness level come from? Where What? How do I know what mine is? Well, I want you to think of your happiness level as a pie chart.

Okay. And so what we know from the research is that 50% of your long term happiness comes from your mom or dad or a mixture of both. It is it's genetic. 50% of your long term happiness is genetic. And sometimes when I'm like traveling and I'm sharing this on stages to to 1000 people and I literally see people hang their heads and they're like, I'm so screwed. Right? But it's true, there's a genetic disposition to happiness, it's the same thing with food, right? Like some of us can look at a french fry, and we gain 15 pounds, and others of us can eat McDonald's french fries every day, and not gaining any weight. It's true happiness, some of us are born into this world, in our minds, our brains automatically scan and see all that is good. And then there's others of us, you have to work at it, this is just being a human being. But that's just 50%.

Okay, so stay with me. What we also know is that when you're looking at that pie chart, if 50% of your long term happiness is genetic, we know that 10% and only 10% of your long term happiness comes from your external circumstances. Only 10%. So what's an external circumstance? Well, I'm going to tell you an external circumstances if you're married, divorced, single or widow, an external circumstances, if you live in a $75,000 home, or a $7 million home, and external circumstances, if you make $75,000 a year, or $750,000 a year, what kind of car you drive, what kind of home you live in, how much you weigh, believe it or not, is an external circumstance, you know. And so what happens is we convince ourselves that the the path to happiness is, you know, if I could just find the right partner, if I could just lose the 20 pounds, if I could just earn this amount of money, which I have no problem with any of that. But the problem is, is those external circumstances are only responsible for about 10% of your long term happiness, which means that we're all chasing the wrong things. Okay?

There's nothing wrong with wanting to make more money. Lord knows, I'm all about building wealth. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you think when you finally lose the weight, you'll be happy when you finally find the right partner, you'll be happy, when you can finally go to Greece, you'll be happy. What we know is those are not the things that contribute to long term happiness, now, maybe going to Greece would because that would be considered an experience. And we know that experiences do contribute to happiness. So if 50% of our happiness is genetic, and 10% is our external circumstances, right? That leaves 40% of the pie left. And every human being has the ability to increase their happiness levels by up to 40%. Every human being Now obviously, I can't teach you all the ways to do that, I will tell you that I have happiness habits that are a part of my everyday life, I will tell you that my life is far from perfect, and it has stresses and it has problems.

But I wake up every single day excited to live my life. You know why? Because I put happiness at the forefront. I have created happiness routines as a part of my life. And so what I want to leave you with today is one simple strategy. One of the top five ways you can increase your happiness levels, okay, your baseline, it's this very simple practice, you guys, it takes two minutes of time. That being said, 80% of you won't do this, because only 20% of people act, right?

Everybody wants more happiness, everybody wants more of everything. But research shows 20% of us are the ones that are going to take action that we're actually going to do something to help us achieve our goal of creating more happiness. And so that number one thing is gratitude. Folks, it is the most powerful practice, I think I can teach you. What we know is that the average human being has 70,000, negative thoughts a day 70,000. And for the average human being, we know that 80% of those are negative, which means if you're an average person, you're having 56,000 negative thoughts a day, and most of them are in the running in the background of your mind. So you don't even realize that they're impeding your moments of joy, your ability to feel and experience happiness. But what we know from the brain research is that if you were to write down three different things every single day, that you're thankful for three different things every single day that you're thankful for that after 21 days, you've actually created a new neural feedback loop in your brain.

You've created a new roadway in your brain. And what happens is your brain starts to scan its environment and it starts To pick out more things that are right, which means that when your brains at positive, you're shifting every other area of your life. And so my top number one happiness habit for you today when we're talking about the happy ness mindset is start a gratitude practice every single day, I personally write down 10. That's just my practice. The research says three, you only have to write three different things every single day that you are thankful for. And when you do that, my friends, you work on raising that baseline happiness level. Alright, everyone, this is part one in a series of the next five podcast episodes. So what you learn today was all about the happiness mindset and understanding that up to 40% of our happiness has to do with our thoughts, our actions and our behaviors.

I will tell you that in the happy Academy, which is my 10 month coaching program, we spend a significant amount of time talking about your actions, your thoughts and your behaviors, while giving you the tools so that you can increase your happiness levels by up to 40%. If you want to know more about that or get on our waitlist, all you have to do is go to struggle education.com forward slash the dash happy dash Academy slash We will also throw that link in the show notes you're going to want to get on the waitlist so that you can be one of the first people to find out when we launch it in the summer.

Thank you so much for joining me on the she finds joy show today. I'm so honored that you chose to listen to this episode. As always, this conversation will be continued in my free private Facebook group called she finds joy. You can join that group by going to Kim strobel.com. forward slash Facebook to connect with other people just like you. Additionally, if this is your first time listening to the show, know that we drop a new episode every other Wednesday. So make sure you subscribe, go to whatever podcast app you use, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can do that directly. If you go to Kim struggle, comm forward slash review that will put you in Apple podcast where you can click on the subscribe button. And you can also leave a review. If you scroll down just a little bit, you can leave a five star review and write a few sentences letting me know what you thought. It's so very important to get people to leave a review for my podcast. The reviews help me get higher on the iTunes iTunes list. And that will show up when people are searching for a new podcast and it will really help us get new subscribers. So if I could ask one little favor for you just to go to Kim struggle.com forward slash give us a review and give us a comment and let us know what's been helpful.

Thank you so much for listening in. I am really honored to be a part of this community with you

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