People often develop an unhealthy and unhelpful obsession with other people’s opinions 😬 — especially, worrying way too much about what other people think of us.

I know this has been a life-long challenge for me.  People have talked about me behind my back for years. “She’s too outspoken. She’s too confident. She’s too athletic. She launched her own business. Who does she think she is?  She needs to stay in her corner.”

Sigh….all the “too’s” and people who try to keep you from climbing your own ladder of success and growth.

I hesitate to write this next part because I don’t want to sound like a victim, but I have been on the ass-end of a lot of people’s judgments and opinions my whole life.

Perhaps it was some gossip I overheard from a friend that people were saying. Or a nasty email message from a hater. Or being criticized for wearing nice clothes to work when I was a classroom teacher. 

Or finding out that a couple of people had a group text message going around where they were screenshotting my Facebook posts in my She Finds Joy Facebook Group.

And probably one million other things that, frankly, I don’t have the energy for anymore.

It used to sting…a lot. It hurt my feelings. It made me second guess myself. “Was I who they said I am? Maybe I’m not a good person. Maybe I can’t see what is wrong with me?”

And yes, sometimes it still stings, but not as much and definitely not as often.

With age and time, I have realized that not everyone needs to like me. Not everyone needs to like you either. 

Knowing you can’t control others’ opinions and thoughts give you a sense of freedom.

There will always be someone who doesn’t like you, no matter how sweet, nice, or kind you are.

You could be Mother Teresa, and they still wouldn’t like you.

Because…

• People project their pain in the form of judgment and jealousy.

• People have different preferences.

• People use hate and gossip as a way of trying to belong.

• People don’t like seeing others succeed because it triggers their own inadequacies. 

• People don’t have to like everyone on this planet.

Trying to control how people view you is a waste of time and energy. You are draining the joy, the purpose, and the peace from your heart.  

You know WHO you are… and that, my friend, needs to be your North Star. No one on this Earth knows you better than you, and I want you to start honoring all parts of yourself. 

When you accept that not everyone will view you positively, you are free to focus on the people who do.

And when you release the shackles of trying to please everyone, getting people to like you, trying to be who you think everyone wants you to be, you are free to show up as your authentic self.

And that is the person you’ve been waiting for your whole life to meet. 

I didn’t realize when I was younger that I had a fire inside me that yearned to show up in big ways. I didn’t realize that one of the best ways to step into my potential was to find other people who get me and like me. I couldn’t avoid the haters all the time, but over time I figured out how to worry less about them and focus more on my path.

You can do the same thing!

People will talk, and the more loudly and proudly you speak your truth and say what you think, the more people will talk about you. Some of them will try to shut you down. Some of them will threaten you. But, they have no power over you, unless you let them.  

It’s time to take back your power and stand proudly in the beautiful, perfectly made, ever-growing human being that you are!

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