TRANSCRIPT:
Hi everyone. I have loved all the comments from last week’s episode about Let your Light Shine. So keep them coming. Keep sharing that podcast. I love seeing women show up and we’re going to kind of continue with that theme of letting your light shine. And today we’re going to dive in to something that actually has been a really big game changer in my own life. And I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s Mel Robbins new book called Let Them and at first when she came out with that title I was like, that’s not even a catching type, catchy title. I don’t really understand it. But I’m going to tell you folks, it is changing my life and it is that power of Let them.
You see, I am someone who can be very people pleasing in a lot of ways. I spent a great deal of my life worried about what other people thought of me. And so when I started my business Struggle Education, it required me to really show up in social media, on social media in a really big way. It required me to expose some of my vulnerabilities, to celebrate my wins and my successes, to embody all that I am. And my showing up on social media is a huge part of my marketing. One, it’s easy for me because I really love connecting with others and I love sharing stories and two, it’s a very big driver of my business. But I remember somebody really close to me a couple years ago saying, gosh, you post every day. How many selfies do you take of yourself? She said, you must spend all kinds of time on social media. And at the time I went to look at my screen time and I was spending nine minutes a day on social media, I was spending three to four minutes creating a post. But that’s it. But I I remember walking away and like feeling like, is there something wrong with me.
Like I, you know, I was justifying, like, gosh, this is a huge like driver in my business, me showing up. And it only takes two or three minutes for me to do a post. And I do kind of post five days a week. Is there something wrong with that? You know, and so there’s a lot of judgment that can come from other people. You and I know this. And I honestly being someone who, who kind of be judgmental at times in my own life, it’s something I’ve always been working on. But many times I still, to this day when I post something I think, are they going to think I’m arrogant? Are they going to think that, you know, that I’m full of myself? Will they have an opinion about my body, my choices, what they consider my confidence? And the truth is, is yes, they probably will. And what I’ve been learning is that that’s their problem, not mine.
Just like when you choose to do something, to show up in a way that maybe celebrates who you are, celebrates the self love that you feel for yourself, people are probably going to judge you and it has everything to do with them and not too much to do with you, but it still hurts. And so Mel Robbins has created this incredible concept and it’s called the let them theory. And it’s all about letting people have their opinions, letting them have their judgments, let them have their negativity while you keep showing up as your fullest, most authentic self. And what she talks about is that many times we, we kind of keep ourselves in these boxes, in these self contained boxes in order to keep ourselves safe because we don’t want to be known as somebody who brags or it feels very uncomfortable to say something positive about ourselves. And I always think that this all comes back to really self love.
Like there’s nobody who does more for you in a day’s time than you. But you can’t give yourself any credit because that’s being arrogant. Because I mean that’s total bs. Like self love and the ability to love yourself makes you so much in this world. Like that’s where we all have to start. I always say that self love is actually the root, the lack of self love is the root of so many of our problems. How we show up in our relationships, how we show up in our work life, how we show up in our fitness life, it all comes back to self love. And I’m going to go back to Rebecca Campbell’s work again too. Because this idea that we are all here to shine our light, we are not here to make ourselves less than what we truly are. We are here to own our light. We are here to own our bigness. We are here to celebrate ourselves. We 100% should love the human being, the soul, the part of us that shows up day in and day out, out for ourselves. And so today we’re going to talk a little bit about how can we maybe stop censoring ourselves so much. How can we let go of the fear of judgment and how can we step more fully into the power who we are, Whether that’s posting a picture of your body, whether that’s owning a success that you had, or is it just showing up as who you are in all your quirks and all your weirdness and all your differences. And so I want to kind of start with a, a personal story.
Recently, many of you who have been following me know that I work out and I work out. Some people would say it’s a lot. I think it’s normal, but it’s a lot compared to the normal person. So I used to run seven days a week, 40 miles a week. And then about two and a half years ago, my fitness trainer, who I hired at the time because I was becoming perimenopausal and I could tell, like the belly fat was happening, my hips were widening, nothing I was doing, no matter how much I worked out, nothing shifted. And she actually said, kim, I’m going to take three runs away from you and I’m going to replace them with whole body workouts. And I will tell you that for two and a half months, I cried and I fought it because my body for 25 years was used to getting up and, and going for a run. And so on three of the days of the week, I would actually go down in my basement and do this weight workout. And I hated it. But I knew that in order to transform my body, I had to rewire my brain and I had to get uncomfortable because that’s the only way you change. And so fast forward to two and a half years later and I will tell you that the my body composition has changed. It’s not perfect, but 100%. Learning how to incorporate whole body workouts has been so important for my own health and fitness.
You know, a woman loses 10% of her body mass with every decade, so we have to incorporate strength training. And so a couple weeks ago, I wasn’t going to be able to do my run that day because it had snowed. And so instead of letting that derail me, I went downstairs and I thought I’ll just do my beachbody workout today. And so after I went down, I lifted my weights, all of this stuff. I ended up like taking a picture of myself in the kitchen, flexing my muscles. And I had my leggings on and then I had my sports bra, but I had not worked out with a T shirt that day. And so I just took a picture of myself and I was kind of proud. I was like, wow, look at those. Like, I have muscles in my arms finally, and there’s some cuts. I’m like, I felt stronger than I ever have. And I really did feel proud of myself that, that I had gone from running seven days a week down to four and that I had taken this strength training and I had fought through the resistance of not wanting to change what I did.
And I thought, I really have a lot to say about this. I’m going to post this picture. And so I posted this picture on Facebook and Instagram at Kim Strouble Joy on my Instagram. And I was really nervous. Like, I kept looking it over and thought, oh my gosh, that people are going to judge me. They’re going to be like, oh, look at Kim. There she is posting a picture of her belly. Why does she need to do that? Why does she need to post a picture of her belly? Why does she need to show her body off? And. And you know why? She’s 50 years old. What is she doing? You know, Is she just showing off again? Know, who does she think she is? Like, I started having all these thoughts come in about, wow, people are going to maybe eat me alive if I do this post. And then I remembered the let them theory that I had been learning from Mel Robbins. And the let them theory is this very simple but powerful mindset shift. And it basically says, if people want to judge you, let them. If they have an opinion about your life, let them. If they don’t understand you, let them not understand you.
Because here’s the truth. Their opinions about how you show up in your life, that is not your responsibility. You do not exist to make other people feel more comfortable in their own skin. You do not have to shrink yourself in order to avoid judgment. And you do not need permission to be proud of whatever your progress is. So I posted this picture and I said to myself, let them have their thoughts. Let them say, oh, there’s Kim posting another picture. Let them say, oh, there Kim is showing off her body. Let them say, there she is showing her stomach. Why does she have to show her stomach as a 50 year old? And let Me tell you my stomach is far from perfect, okay? But even if it was perfect, I should still be able to show it. And I started to think about her theory, which is basically let people have their opinions of you.
Let them treat you however they want to treat you because you cannot control that. Let them talk to you about behind your back. Let them be negative, let them not like you. And let me, this is my responsibility. Because Mel talks about the let them theory is a two part process. You let people be who they are because you can’t change that. But you let me me decide how I’m going to handle it. So for me, it was like, let me keep doing the work. Let me keep going down to the basement three times a week, 45 minutes each time, and building this strong, powerful body. Let me not be afraid to post this picture and to talk about health and fitness, because it might just inspire somebody else.
And let me start showing up exactly as I am. And so I posted this picture and I was nervous. But I will tell you, this post went viral. In fact, it let me know that this idea I have for my second book, my first book is called Teach Happy Small Steps to Big Joy. And it really focuses on the 40% of happiness that is within our control. And it’s the blueprint for how you can increase your happiness levels by up to 40%. But I’ve always known there’s a second book inside of me. And that post and the, the reaction it got from people, the very positive reaction, even if it got a negative. I’m sure there was a lot of negativity behind the scenes that I just did not see. But that post let me know that this is something that is hitting on for many, many people. And so when we, you know, take a little bit a deeper look at this and we even tie it back to this whole month’s theme about letting our light shine. And I go back to Rebecca Campbell’s book, Light is the New Black. You know, she once again says that we are all here to shine. We are all here to step into our light and to fully embrace who we are.
We were created by, you know, God, creator, the universe. We. We were made in his likeness, right? So why can we not own the special parts of ourselves? But too often what we do, folks, is we don’t. We don’t own that. We’re afraid to put it out there. We dim ourselves down because we don’t want to make waves. We don’t want to cause friction. We don’t want unwanted attention on us. And so let’s. Let’s think about this in our own lives. How many times have you held back from celebrating something? Sharing a celebration, sharing a win, Posting something on social media because you didn’t want to appear, that you were full of yourself? Or how many times have you downplayed your success so others wouldn’t feel uncomfortable? How many times did you say, no, I don’t want to share this success that I just had in my business or in my life because I don’t want it to seem like I’m bragging. That is not bragging. We are supposed to celebrate our wins, especially with people who can hold space for them. Or how many times have you shrunk yourself because you were afraid of being too much for somebody else?
Here’s the thing, folks. When we dim our light, that does nothing for the world. There is enough darkness, enough negativity in this world. The world needs our light. And remember that Rebecca Campbell says, when you shine your light, you unconsciously give others permission to do this the same. So every time I own my confidence, I am sending a message to other people, maybe to women in particular, that they too are allowed to shine their light. Every time I show my strength, I remind another woman that she too can be strong. And every time I take up space, I encourage another woman to stop playing small and to own her light. That’s what this is about. Not just letting go of judgment because people are always going to judge you. It’s letting them judge you and choosing to shine anyway.
Because you have to ask yourself, how do I really stop that shrinking? How do I start owning the power, the divine power that is within me? I love that quote by Marianne Williams that you. Oh, hold on just a second. I’ve got to pull it up because it’s so good. Here it is. I pulled it up for you. Marianne Williamson says, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. And I love that. And I want you to really take those words in. Own your confidence, even when it makes others uncomfortable. If you’re proud of your body, post the picture. If you’re proud of your success, celebrate it.
If you’re stepping into a new version of yourself, do not downplay it and release. This is our life’s work too. Release the need for approval. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to understand you. And that’s okay. Let them misunderstand you, let them roll their eyes, let them think what they want and let you shine anyway. Because your light is not too much, your competence is not too much, and your ambition is not too much. And if someone can’t handle it, let it go. So here’s my call to action. Here’s my challenge for you this week. I want you to post the picture, I want you to share the I want you to speak up and I want you to take up space.
And when someone has something to say about it, I want you to let them and I want you to let your light shine. If this episode spoke to you, I want to hear from you folks. I want to know who my listeners are. I want you to screenshot it, I want you to share it on social media. I want you to tag me at Kim Strouble Joy on Instagram and tell me what’s one way you’re going to start showing up more boldly in your life? Because the world needs your light and the moment you stop dimming it, you give others the courage to shine too. All right, folks, until next time, keep going. Keep showing up. Let them be who they are and let you shine your light.
