Educators Go Here

Ep 95 | It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay

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Let’s be honest—life isn’t always sunshine, staged selfies, or perfectly filtered social media posts. Sometimes, even when things look great on the outside, there’s a heaviness beneath the surface. In episode 95 of She Finds Joy, Kim shows up just as she is—no makeup, hair undone, still in her running clothes—and dives into why it’s absolutely normal (and necessary!) to lean into the moments when you’re not okay.

The Invisible Weight We Carry

Have you ever found yourself hustling—pouring energy into your work, relationships, or personal goals—but feeling like nothing is moving forward? You’re not alone. Kim opens up about this exact feeling: that uncomfortable sense of being stuck, comparing herself to others, and wondering why she isn’t further ahead.

She reminds us that while our highlight reels might inspire, there’s always more to the story. “There are seasons when life feels heavy or we’re not seeing the progress we hoped to see,” she shares. Whether it’s career setbacks, family struggles, or personal growth that seems slow, sometimes we’re just in a period of preparation—for what’s next, even if we can’t see it yet.

Permission to Pause

One of the most powerful takeaways from the episode is the permission Kim gives herself—and all of us—to be kind during hard times. Maybe you feel behind. Maybe you feel “not enough.” Guess what? You don’t have to fix it all right now. Sometimes, the universe nudges us to pause, to let the discomfort teach us, and to wait for the light to return.

It’s okay to not feel okay. The discomfort isn’t failure—it’s part of being human.

Small Self-Care, Inspired by Grandma

Kim’s grandmother was a beacon of happiness. Her advice? When you’re down, get your hair fixed or eat dessert first. Sometimes, self-care isn’t deep work—it’s finding simple, comforting things to nurture yourself until things begin to shift. Maybe it’s listening to your favorite song, or reaching out to a friend.

You’re Not Alone Here

We often think others have it all together. But everyone, even Kim whose work is focused on happiness, has heavy days—days when joy feels out of reach, those moments of questioning, “Why am I not there yet?” Instead of pushing those feelings away, Kim encourages us to sit with them. “You’re not broken, you’re not totally behind, you’re not less than others, and you’re certainly not alone in these feelings,” she says.

A Little Inspiration (and a Song Recommendation)

If you need a dose of hope, Kim suggests listening to Nightbird’s song “It’s Okay.” The message is clear—embrace where you are, give yourself grace, and know that it’s perfectly okay not to have every answer yet.

Share the Love

If you know someone who’s struggling, send this message their way. You can connect with Kim on Instagram at @kimstrobeljoy and share your own experiences. Let’s find comfort together in the knowledge: it’s okay to not be okay.

You’re allowed to pause. You’re allowed to feel. And most importantly, you’re not alone.

Hey friends! In this vulnerable, honest episode of She Finds Joy, I’m inviting you into a raw conversation that we don’t have nearly enough—about those days when things just aren’t okay.

I showed up for this recording in my running clothes, with no makeup and messy hair, because it felt important that you see the real, unfiltered Kim Strobel. The truth is, behind the social media highlight reels and the smiles, every single one of us has times when life feels heavy, we feel stuck, and joy feels far away.

 

Key Topics Covered:

 

  • It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay:  Let’s break the silence around those moments when your outside life looks shiny, but inside, you’re struggling. I open up about my own experience—how I’ve been feeling off lately, no matter how hard I hustle or strive. And I promise you: it’s okay to have these feelings. You are not failing just because you’re in a tough season.

 

  • Seasonal Shifts and Emotional Realness:  I share why fall always feels hard for me, even though there’s so much to love about it. Is it the shift from the busy energy of summer into quieter days? Is it saying goodbye to the high of speaking on stages and trading it for more time alone in my office? Just know, it’s normal to feel a little lost or off-track when the seasons of life change.

 

  • Social Media vs. Real Life:  On my own Facebook page, I share both the highlights and the struggles. It’s easy to scroll and feel like everyone else has it all together, but I want you to remember—there’s so much more happening behind the scenes in everyone’s life than you see online.

 

  • Giving Yourself Permission to Pause:  Sometimes, after we’ve tried everything to push forward, the wisest thing we can do is pause. Allow yourself to sit in the discomfort. Resist the urge to “fix” everything right away. Maybe it’s a time of preparation, a space for something new to grow.

 

  • The Wisdom of My Grandmother:  My grandma—the happiest person I’ve known—would order dessert first and get her hair done to lift her mood. Maybe we need to take a cue from her and find the small, nurturing ways to care for ourselves while we wait for the light to return.

 

  • You Are Not Alone:  I name the hard realities I’m moving through right now, acknowledging it’s tough. Comparison creeps in, and it often feels like others are further ahead. But you are not broken, and you are not less than.

 

Action Steps:

 

  • Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to feel the way you do right now.
  • Share your feelings with someone you trust—even if you can’t fix them, you don’t have to carry them alone.
  • Find one small way to care for yourself today—a walk, music, dessert first, or just pausing.
  • Remind yourself: “I don’t have to have it all figured out yet.”
  • Listen to the song “It’s Okay” by Nightbird—the message is powerful and healing.

 

Notable Quotes:

 

“You’re not failing, even though it feels like you’re behind everyone else.”

“Maybe you don’t always have to be fixing your life—sometimes it’s okay to just be where you are.”

“You are not alone in these feelings—so many of us feel the same way sometimes.”

“If you need inspiration, remember Nightbird’s song: It’s Okay.”

 

Listener Challenge:

 

Take a moment and ask yourself: Where in your life do you feel ‘behind’ or ‘not enough’? What’s ONE small act of kindness you can offer yourself today?

 

Share your story! Tag @KimStrobelJoy on Instagram—I’d love to hear about the moments when you let yourself not be okay, and what helps you through.

 

Connect & Share:

 

  • Screenshot the episode and share it with a friend who needs encouragement.
  • Leave a review at kimstrobel.com/review—your words help this message reach even more people.
  • Subscribe so you never miss an episode full of truth, hope, and real-life support!

 

You are never alone. You are worthy of kindness, compassion, and grace—especially in the hard seasons. Thank you for listening, thank you for showing up as your authentic self, and thank you for letting me walk beside you on this journey toward joy and wholeness.

 

With love and realness,

 

Kim Strobel

 

It’s Kim Strobel. And welcome back to She Finds Joy. And by the way, I’m showing up with no makeup, my hair not done, and I’m still in my running clothes because this topic that we’re about to talk about today feels like you need to see the real version of Kim Strobel.

Today, I want to have a real and honest conversation about something that we all feel but we rarely talk about, and that is the days when we just don’t feel okay. The times when your outside life or your social media life looks really great, but inside you might be struggling or something feels kind of off.

And you know those moments when you’re showing up, you’re doing the work, you’re trying to hustle, you’re trying to grind, you’re trying to get yourself there, but it seems like it’s not working, or you just can’t get ahead, or you’re a little heavy, something feels off. I’ve been in that space lately, and I just want to say that it’s okay to not feel okay.

I don’t think that we allow ourselves to not feel okay, or if we feel down or a little hopeless or like we’re failing at life, it feels so heavy that then we start to over exaggerate that we’re not allowed to feel this way because we have a really good life, or we worry about these darker feelings that we might feel.

So let me give you an example. For some reason, this goes all the way back to my childhood. Fall, the season of fall, the season of autumn, which is when I’m recording this podcast episode. You might not be listening to it until the spring, but I’m recording it today. And fall always feels hard on me.

I don’t know if it’s the changing seasons, the fact that the days get a little shorter, there’s a different feel in the air, which I do love. But it seems like it’s a hard season for me to adjust to. And sometimes I think, is it because I’m coming off of all my August travel where I’m tuned in, I’m turned on, I’m speaking on stages, I’m connecting to people?

And then I come back from my speaking tour and I’m back in my office doing a lot of work and not out on as many stages. I mean, I might be on two or three a month, but it’s nothing like the everyday dopamine hits that I’m getting in August. And so even though my life feels really good in a lot of ways, there’s still some things that I’m working through.

And I think that there are seasons when life feels heavy or we’re not seeing the progress that we hoped to see. Maybe we don’t have ourselves in a spot yet where we think we should be at our age. Maybe our career isn’t where it should be. Maybe our family life, our marriage life feels a little off. It could be any numerous things.

Maybe our parenting and our children and the stage they’re in. It can all feel kind of hard. And there’s times when you just feel like you’re stuck and you’re not moving and you’re not going anywhere and nothing’s changing. And even though you’re hustling and you’re striving, it’s like the needle’s not being moved.

And what I’m trying to embrace and learn is that in those moments, you’re not failing, even though it might feel like you’re behind everyone else, especially when you see how people show up on social media. I feel like it’s really easy to go to my Kim Sable House Trouble Facebook page and think, like, my gosh, that girl and her life. It’s absolutely amazing because I purposely share a lot of what I’m doing because I want it to inspire others to know that they really can live a big, bold, brave life. And it can be beautiful in so many facets.

But I also try to do posts that show that sometimes I too am struggling and I’m a very real person and this is normal. And we don’t always realize when we see everybody else’s fabulous post that there’s usually a lot more going on behind the scenes than what people show. And that’s why I try to show both sides when I can, to my own life.

But I think that sometimes when you feel stuck or when you feel like the needle’s not moving or nothing you’re doing is working or you’re not able to grow your business, or you’re not—your marriage has taken a step back instead of a step forward, maybe, or, you know, your kids aren’t where they need to be yet, we all can kind of feel like, what else can I do? I’m hustling so hard and nothing is changing.

And I think that there are seasons in life when maybe the universe, the world is just saying it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to feel the yuckiness of it. It’s okay to be uncomfortable, it’s okay to be disappointed that you’re not as far along as you want to be. And maybe, just maybe, you’re in a preparation time for what is coming your way.

So maybe it’s okay to not feel okay. And I know for me personally, I think that people see me as this like, positive, chippery, happy person. And I, I do feel like I have a lot of that in my life and I work at it. I’m a happiness practitioner. So there’s certain habits that I do daily to help me feel more of that. But that’s not all of who Kim Strobel is.

I have down days, too. I have days where I feel like it’s hard to smile and I’m not sure why. I have days when joy feels really far away and I, I don’t know why, where maybe I feel stuck. Like I’m dealing with decade-long patterns that I still haven’t broken in myself, which makes me crazy. But maybe, maybe that’s just a part of being human, right?

And maybe you can feel that sometimes in yourself and just say, you know, I don’t have to feel wonderful all the time. And I can actually lean in to the uncomfortableness and the discomfort of life because maybe, just maybe, there’s something else brewing. And I’m needing this time to pause and to be in this space because of what might be coming.

And it really reminds me of my grandmother. Many of you who have heard me speak on stages have heard me talk about my grandmother. She passed away at 100 years old. She was the happiest person that I knew. And for 25 years, I had a standing Friday lunch date with this remarkable woman.

And she was somebody who almost always focused on the blessings in her life. And you rarely heard her talk about the hard stuff. But every now and then she would say, you know, Kimmy, when I feel down, or used to feel down, from time to time I would go get my hair fixed and it always made me feel better. And I’m also thinking of this picture I have in her, in my mind. Because when we would go to the local lunch cafe here in Tel City on Fridays, she would always order dessert first.

And it just makes me think, like maybe Graham was onto something. Maybe we don’t always have to be fixing our life. Maybe we don’t always have to be striving for the next thing in our life. Maybe it’s more about finding the small ways we can take care of ourselves until the light returns.

And for me, for whatever reason, maybe it’s this dreary fall day. It’s been a really tough 10 days. I’ve had something that I’m trying to deal with in my own life. Actually, I’ve got about five things that are moving and shaking on the inside of Kim Strobel right now that I’m not ready to share yet. But they’ve been hard pills to swallow, and they’ve been difficult waters to navigate, and I’m left sometimes feeling like you’re just not there yet, Kim. Why? What are others doing that you’re not doing? Because they seem so much further ahead of you.

And so all this just to say is if you’re feeling a little off, you feel behind in your life, you feel like you’re simply not enough, which is what I feel some of the time, maybe just giving yourself a little bit of kindness, a little bit of space. You know, you’re not broken, you’re not totally behind, you’re not less than others.

And you’re certainly not alone in these feelings, because I feel this myself at times. And this is just your gentle reminder that it’s okay to feel like you’re in a space that isn’t where you want to be right now and to acknowledge that discomfort, to let those feelings come up, but also to say, I maybe don’t have to have it all figured out just yet. Maybe I can just sit with it and maybe there’s something else brewing. And for this season in my life, I need to let it be what it is.

You know, I believe in that philosophy of right action, divine timing. So you keep taking the actions you’re supposed to take. And maybe in due time, when it’s ready to germinate, when the seeds have been planted and it’s ready to sprout, then you’ll be ready for it because you had the space and grace to give yourself a little bit of pause and to say, it’s okay that I don’t have it figured out yet.

And if you need a little inspiration, there is this singer, songwriter. She went by the name of Nightbird. And I believe it was like in 2020 or 2021, she performed her song “It’s Okay” on America’s Got Talent. And Simon on America’s Got Talent was just blown away by this song. “It’s Okay,” because the whole philosophy is it’s okay to not be okay. And she’s a very bright, vibrant young woman who had cancer and she ended up having to withdraw because she was dying. And she did die at the age of 22.

But this song “It’s Okay” by Nightbird—I would love for you just to go and listen to it and to kind of wrap yourself in your own big hug and say it is okay to not be okay. And if you know somebody who could use this podcast episode today, I’d appreciate it if you would share it or tag me in the episode link on Instagram at in at Kim Strobeljoy. And I would love to know if you sometimes feel like you’re not okay, too, and maybe we can find a little comfort in knowing that we’re not alone.

Hey friends! In this vulnerable, honest episode of She Finds Joy, I’m inviting you into a raw conversation that we don’t have nearly enough—about those days when things just aren’t okay.

I showed up for this recording in my running clothes, with no makeup and messy hair, because it felt important that you see the real, unfiltered Kim Strobel. The truth is, behind the social media highlight reels and the smiles, every single one of us has times when life feels heavy, we feel stuck, and joy feels far away.

 

Key Topics Covered:

 

  • It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay:  Let’s break the silence around those moments when your outside life looks shiny, but inside, you’re struggling. I open up about my own experience—how I’ve been feeling off lately, no matter how hard I hustle or strive. And I promise you: it’s okay to have these feelings. You are not failing just because you’re in a tough season.

 

  • Seasonal Shifts and Emotional Realness:  I share why fall always feels hard for me, even though there’s so much to love about it. Is it the shift from the busy energy of summer into quieter days? Is it saying goodbye to the high of speaking on stages and trading it for more time alone in my office? Just know, it’s normal to feel a little lost or off-track when the seasons of life change.

 

  • Social Media vs. Real Life:  On my own Facebook page, I share both the highlights and the struggles. It’s easy to scroll and feel like everyone else has it all together, but I want you to remember—there’s so much more happening behind the scenes in everyone’s life than you see online.

 

  • Giving Yourself Permission to Pause:  Sometimes, after we’ve tried everything to push forward, the wisest thing we can do is pause. Allow yourself to sit in the discomfort. Resist the urge to “fix” everything right away. Maybe it’s a time of preparation, a space for something new to grow.

 

  • The Wisdom of My Grandmother:  My grandma—the happiest person I’ve known—would order dessert first and get her hair done to lift her mood. Maybe we need to take a cue from her and find the small, nurturing ways to care for ourselves while we wait for the light to return.

 

  • You Are Not Alone:  I name the hard realities I’m moving through right now, acknowledging it’s tough. Comparison creeps in, and it often feels like others are further ahead. But you are not broken, and you are not less than.

 

Action Steps:

 

  • Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to feel the way you do right now.
  • Share your feelings with someone you trust—even if you can’t fix them, you don’t have to carry them alone.
  • Find one small way to care for yourself today—a walk, music, dessert first, or just pausing.
  • Remind yourself: “I don’t have to have it all figured out yet.”
  • Listen to the song “It’s Okay” by Nightbird—the message is powerful and healing.

 

Notable Quotes:

 

“You’re not failing, even though it feels like you’re behind everyone else.”

“Maybe you don’t always have to be fixing your life—sometimes it’s okay to just be where you are.”

“You are not alone in these feelings—so many of us feel the same way sometimes.”

“If you need inspiration, remember Nightbird’s song: It’s Okay.”

 

Listener Challenge:

 

Take a moment and ask yourself: Where in your life do you feel ‘behind’ or ‘not enough’? What’s ONE small act of kindness you can offer yourself today?

 

Share your story! Tag @KimStrobelJoy on Instagram—I’d love to hear about the moments when you let yourself not be okay, and what helps you through.

 

Connect & Share:

 

  • Screenshot the episode and share it with a friend who needs encouragement.
  • Leave a review at kimstrobel.com/review—your words help this message reach even more people.
  • Subscribe so you never miss an episode full of truth, hope, and real-life support!

 

You are never alone. You are worthy of kindness, compassion, and grace—especially in the hard seasons. Thank you for listening, thank you for showing up as your authentic self, and thank you for letting me walk beside you on this journey toward joy and wholeness.

 

With love and realness,

 

Kim Strobel

 

It’s Kim Strobel. And welcome back to She Finds Joy. And by the way, I’m showing up with no makeup, my hair not done, and I’m still in my running clothes because this topic that we’re about to talk about today feels like you need to see the real version of Kim Strobel.

Today, I want to have a real and honest conversation about something that we all feel but we rarely talk about, and that is the days when we just don’t feel okay. The times when your outside life or your social media life looks really great, but inside you might be struggling or something feels kind of off.

And you know those moments when you’re showing up, you’re doing the work, you’re trying to hustle, you’re trying to grind, you’re trying to get yourself there, but it seems like it’s not working, or you just can’t get ahead, or you’re a little heavy, something feels off. I’ve been in that space lately, and I just want to say that it’s okay to not feel okay.

I don’t think that we allow ourselves to not feel okay, or if we feel down or a little hopeless or like we’re failing at life, it feels so heavy that then we start to over exaggerate that we’re not allowed to feel this way because we have a really good life, or we worry about these darker feelings that we might feel.

So let me give you an example. For some reason, this goes all the way back to my childhood. Fall, the season of fall, the season of autumn, which is when I’m recording this podcast episode. You might not be listening to it until the spring, but I’m recording it today. And fall always feels hard on me.

I don’t know if it’s the changing seasons, the fact that the days get a little shorter, there’s a different feel in the air, which I do love. But it seems like it’s a hard season for me to adjust to. And sometimes I think, is it because I’m coming off of all my August travel where I’m tuned in, I’m turned on, I’m speaking on stages, I’m connecting to people?

And then I come back from my speaking tour and I’m back in my office doing a lot of work and not out on as many stages. I mean, I might be on two or three a month, but it’s nothing like the everyday dopamine hits that I’m getting in August. And so even though my life feels really good in a lot of ways, there’s still some things that I’m working through.

And I think that there are seasons when life feels heavy or we’re not seeing the progress that we hoped to see. Maybe we don’t have ourselves in a spot yet where we think we should be at our age. Maybe our career isn’t where it should be. Maybe our family life, our marriage life feels a little off. It could be any numerous things.

Maybe our parenting and our children and the stage they’re in. It can all feel kind of hard. And there’s times when you just feel like you’re stuck and you’re not moving and you’re not going anywhere and nothing’s changing. And even though you’re hustling and you’re striving, it’s like the needle’s not being moved.

And what I’m trying to embrace and learn is that in those moments, you’re not failing, even though it might feel like you’re behind everyone else, especially when you see how people show up on social media. I feel like it’s really easy to go to my Kim Sable House Trouble Facebook page and think, like, my gosh, that girl and her life. It’s absolutely amazing because I purposely share a lot of what I’m doing because I want it to inspire others to know that they really can live a big, bold, brave life. And it can be beautiful in so many facets.

But I also try to do posts that show that sometimes I too am struggling and I’m a very real person and this is normal. And we don’t always realize when we see everybody else’s fabulous post that there’s usually a lot more going on behind the scenes than what people show. And that’s why I try to show both sides when I can, to my own life.

But I think that sometimes when you feel stuck or when you feel like the needle’s not moving or nothing you’re doing is working or you’re not able to grow your business, or you’re not—your marriage has taken a step back instead of a step forward, maybe, or, you know, your kids aren’t where they need to be yet, we all can kind of feel like, what else can I do? I’m hustling so hard and nothing is changing.

And I think that there are seasons in life when maybe the universe, the world is just saying it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to feel the yuckiness of it. It’s okay to be uncomfortable, it’s okay to be disappointed that you’re not as far along as you want to be. And maybe, just maybe, you’re in a preparation time for what is coming your way.

So maybe it’s okay to not feel okay. And I know for me personally, I think that people see me as this like, positive, chippery, happy person. And I, I do feel like I have a lot of that in my life and I work at it. I’m a happiness practitioner. So there’s certain habits that I do daily to help me feel more of that. But that’s not all of who Kim Strobel is.

I have down days, too. I have days where I feel like it’s hard to smile and I’m not sure why. I have days when joy feels really far away and I, I don’t know why, where maybe I feel stuck. Like I’m dealing with decade-long patterns that I still haven’t broken in myself, which makes me crazy. But maybe, maybe that’s just a part of being human, right?

And maybe you can feel that sometimes in yourself and just say, you know, I don’t have to feel wonderful all the time. And I can actually lean in to the uncomfortableness and the discomfort of life because maybe, just maybe, there’s something else brewing. And I’m needing this time to pause and to be in this space because of what might be coming.

And it really reminds me of my grandmother. Many of you who have heard me speak on stages have heard me talk about my grandmother. She passed away at 100 years old. She was the happiest person that I knew. And for 25 years, I had a standing Friday lunch date with this remarkable woman.

And she was somebody who almost always focused on the blessings in her life. And you rarely heard her talk about the hard stuff. But every now and then she would say, you know, Kimmy, when I feel down, or used to feel down, from time to time I would go get my hair fixed and it always made me feel better. And I’m also thinking of this picture I have in her, in my mind. Because when we would go to the local lunch cafe here in Tel City on Fridays, she would always order dessert first.

And it just makes me think, like maybe Graham was onto something. Maybe we don’t always have to be fixing our life. Maybe we don’t always have to be striving for the next thing in our life. Maybe it’s more about finding the small ways we can take care of ourselves until the light returns.

And for me, for whatever reason, maybe it’s this dreary fall day. It’s been a really tough 10 days. I’ve had something that I’m trying to deal with in my own life. Actually, I’ve got about five things that are moving and shaking on the inside of Kim Strobel right now that I’m not ready to share yet. But they’ve been hard pills to swallow, and they’ve been difficult waters to navigate, and I’m left sometimes feeling like you’re just not there yet, Kim. Why? What are others doing that you’re not doing? Because they seem so much further ahead of you.

And so all this just to say is if you’re feeling a little off, you feel behind in your life, you feel like you’re simply not enough, which is what I feel some of the time, maybe just giving yourself a little bit of kindness, a little bit of space. You know, you’re not broken, you’re not totally behind, you’re not less than others.

And you’re certainly not alone in these feelings, because I feel this myself at times. And this is just your gentle reminder that it’s okay to feel like you’re in a space that isn’t where you want to be right now and to acknowledge that discomfort, to let those feelings come up, but also to say, I maybe don’t have to have it all figured out just yet. Maybe I can just sit with it and maybe there’s something else brewing. And for this season in my life, I need to let it be what it is.

You know, I believe in that philosophy of right action, divine timing. So you keep taking the actions you’re supposed to take. And maybe in due time, when it’s ready to germinate, when the seeds have been planted and it’s ready to sprout, then you’ll be ready for it because you had the space and grace to give yourself a little bit of pause and to say, it’s okay that I don’t have it figured out yet.

And if you need a little inspiration, there is this singer, songwriter. She went by the name of Nightbird. And I believe it was like in 2020 or 2021, she performed her song “It’s Okay” on America’s Got Talent. And Simon on America’s Got Talent was just blown away by this song. “It’s Okay,” because the whole philosophy is it’s okay to not be okay. And she’s a very bright, vibrant young woman who had cancer and she ended up having to withdraw because she was dying. And she did die at the age of 22.

But this song “It’s Okay” by Nightbird—I would love for you just to go and listen to it and to kind of wrap yourself in your own big hug and say it is okay to not be okay. And if you know somebody who could use this podcast episode today, I’d appreciate it if you would share it or tag me in the episode link on Instagram at in at Kim Strobeljoy. And I would love to know if you sometimes feel like you’re not okay, too, and maybe we can find a little comfort in knowing that we’re not alone.

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