I’m 46 years old and just made homemade mashed potatoes for the first time. My son is so lucky to have me as his momma. 🙃🙃🙃
Does this mean I’m less of a mom because I’ve never been a very good cook nor do I prioritize it? No, I don’t think so.
Here’s what I know: there are all types of mommas.
There’s the Type A mommas. They are the ones who get shit done and it appears as if they have it all together all the damn time, even if they go to great lengths to achieve this. They have the color-coded printable calendars that keep themselves sane and are always prepared. The struggle with this mom is they have perfectionistic tendencies and are always fighting for their worth.
There’s the Type B moms—you know, the “go-with-the-flow” kind. They are super relaxed and aren’t really into schedules or routines. Their house might be a mess, their kids are wearing Dad’s size 10 shoes to school. Meh… no problem. They are relaxed and are totally good at flying by the seat of their pants. This mom’s struggle is that she’s constantly comparing herself to the Type A mom, whose social media pics make her feel extremely guilty for her lack thereof.
And then you have the “I don’t cook much” moms, the “super-creative moms,” the playful moms, the peaceful moms, and all of those in between.
I remember one time my friend, Mary, said, “Kim you are such a good mom. You play all of the time with your kids. I’m just not a playful personality and that doesn’t come easily to me. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.”
But you know what? Even though Mary was never the playful mom, she is a very present mom. Her gift to her children is that she creates lots of experiences with them. They travel and eat fine-dining and she has an exceptional relationship with her adult children. So I don’t think that being a “non-play” mom was too much of a deterrent to her children.
My point is: embrace the momma that you are. Know that we all have our own unique personalities, and while yes we want to grow our skills and be exceptional parents, perhaps we need to stop comparing ourselves to other mothers and instead capitalize on the gifts that make us the mommas that we are.
Being a momma is hard and let’s get real, they didn’t even give us an instruction manual. We are still growing and changing and learning and evolving and that’s OK.
Becoming a mom changes our world in thousands of ways. But I don’t think our goal should be to earn the cape and grow our magical super-powers. In fact, I don’t ever want to be the super-momma. My goal is to be the happy momma. The one who maybe doesn’t compare to the home-cooking on the table every night, but the momma who loves her son like no tomorrow and brings her own gifts to him each and every day.
There’s no such thing as a Supermom. Supermom is a myth… a lie, albeit, costly one.
Many of us are led by society today to believe that in order to be successful Moms, we have to do it all, and give all. I call bullshit on that. We all want to do our best as Moms, as we should. But at some point, for our own mental health, our best has got to be good enough.
Here are some of my top tips to embarrassing the momma that you are.
- It’s okay not to be perfect. Let me say that again: it’s okay, not to be perfect. In fact, I believe a child will take a happy momma over a perfect one every single day.
- Stop comparing yourself to other mommas. Yes, get good advice and work to grow as a momma, but you don’t have to be the cookie-baking, prom organizing parent. In fact, that would suck your soul right out of you. (See my podcast to learn more about this.)
- Understand we all have different mom gifts. Mine is that I love to play. Still to this day, I’ll play tag, baseball, basketball, or whatever. But you might be the crafty mom, the traveling experience mom, or whatever. You were not made to fit in a box, sister.
Embrace the momma that you are. I see you sister and I want you to be who you are on the inside out! And if this happens to be your struggle, I have a life-coaching program that will help you learn to take care of you! Click here to see if we are a good fit for each other.