How to Let Go of What You Thought Should Be + Embrace What Is
One of the most empowering moments in your life is when you find the willingness to let go of what you thought should be and embrace what IS.
It’s not easy and it takes time, but when you can finally do it, it’s so damn freeing.
Me? I never, ever wanted to be a divorced person OR raise a child who had divorced parents. I didn’t want to be limited by panic attacks or experience great pain from other parts of my past that I’m not willing to talk about yet.
And sure, I get disappointed just like everybody else when something doesn’t work out the way I want. But I also know that great beauty has sprung from some unfortunate situations in my life.
When I look back on my life, I can now see that those times when I was completely devastated by a situation (a broken relationship, my child’s family situation, an opportunity I thought I should have had), I was actually being redirected. To something better. To something much more magical.
This revelation didn’t happen overnight. And it took a lot of work on my part. I had to be willing to truly let go and start embracing whatever my circumstances were.
Those circumstances were often painful, “what-the-f@#$” times. There were weeks at a time when I cried myself to sleep every night. Moments when my nerves were so shot, my fears so great, my head so lost, that I didn’t think I would ever recover.
But then I did. I had to choose between being the victim or rising up as the warrior. And I chose to be a warrior, sister friend!
I had to start looking at those painful times not as defeats, but as the necessary unraveling that was happening in my life at that time. I had to learn that I could rise from it, redefine what happiness is to me, and find more meaning in my life.
I have been able to let go of so many things and accept my life for the big, beautiful mess it sometimes is!
In my work, I see a lot of women who are dealing with broken relationships, unexpected job loss, difficult financial situations—and they are overwhelmed with shame and blame. They feel they can’t possibly find happiness until they’ve completely rewritten their lives.
But what they truly need is to ALLOW themselves the opportunity to unravel. To experience the pain, the hurt. To take the hard look within and decide who they truly want to be.
If this sounds like your experience, you must allow yourself to have your feelings, to experience them in a way that feels right to you. And after that? It’s up to you, Sister Friend, to decide if you’re ready let it all go and make space for all the good that awaits your life!
P.S. I went live in the Women Rising Facebook group recently, with my friend, Stefani. She shared her story about letting go and finding her happy after receiving the devastating news that her new baby boy had Down Syndrome. WATCH HERE.
P.P.S. His name is Foxx (I call him Foxxy Babe), and he’s the pure divine light in Stefani’s family!
Thank you for this. Mourning the loss of my husband and son has been so very difficult. Even though I know that it’s in the valleys of my life that God grows me more. Yes, my life is unravelling, I’m lonely and I cry at night, but I’ve also have family support, loving friends, and am making new friends. The loss will always be with me, but there will be happiness again in new ways.
Yes, you are unraveling my friend and that’s just where you need to be. You are a woman of many things, one of which is hope.
I, too, have learned to unravel. There are things I have no control over–I leave those to my Maker. I trust that he is “crushing me, turning my pressure into power” (Bishop TD Jakes). I have watched others around me prosper and have felt like they don’t work near as hard as I do–yet I KNOW if the Father can bless them, He has something for me. So what I can change, I “go hard” for and give my absolute best at, then I pray that my experience will help someone else and that I am able to share.
Such good insights, Lynne! Thank you.