Ep 53 | The Self-Care Mindset & Why It’s Critical to Your Health

Kim I'm Kim Strobel, and this is she finds joy. I've struggled with overcoming adversities throughout my life, feeling defeated and not having the confidence to go after what I wanted. But within every adversity, it can also sow the seeds for something more in our lives. For me, that is teaching others to step into the arena of fitness, all while doing hard things, and reaching for more joy and happiness along the way. I'm a truth telling real top happiness coach who believes in giving you the tools to create a life you love. Welcome to the zero fluff, no BS advice that gives you the small steps for big joy. Hello, everyone. Today, I want to introduce you to the self care mindset. Now we're talking about five life changing mindsets that we can begin to adapt. But let's talk for a second about what a mindset really is. Because so much of the time, people want to change the results that they're getting in their life. They want to change how they feel they want to change what they experience, they want to change how they look, they want to change how they show up in life. And a mindset is such a deep thing, because a mindset is rooted in your ability to actually believe that you're capable and worthy of achieving whatever this is that you want to feel experience. Or do. And so when we're talking about a mindset, we're really talking about how do we go within and change our belief systems. And tomorrow, I'm going to be teaching about the belief system mindset. But the self care mindset is very much you all rooted in our ability to know that we are worthy of investing in ourselves, investing in ourselves with time, investing in ourselves, with pleasure investing in ourselves with recreation, and play and hobbies, investing in ourselves with, with time and money. You know, I think this is such an important thing. And I'm going to tell you that I think that women especially really struggle with this, you know, generations of women before us, who were absolutely phenomenally amazing women, but they did not know that they counted in life. You know, their job was to care for everyone and everything, to take care of the house to take care of the kids to take care of the extracurricular activities to take care of the husband to take care of the cooking to take care of the house cleaning. And generations of women before us. This was the expectation, the expectation was you don't count until you've taken care of everyone else. And what that led to, I believe, is generations of women who felt depressed and and resentful and repressed because they did not know that they were worthy of counting to I have this quote that I love. That is you are not selfish for putting your self first some of the time. Folks, this is such an important thing, not just for you to hold and own. But for you to model for the people, your children, your daughters, your grandchildren, anybody who's watching you. And I remember a few years ago, I came across a young mother in town. Her name was Madeline and I think at the time she had a two year old and a three year old. And she walked across the street and she said Kim, I know your happiness coach and I just want to share with you that I am embarrassed that I am really struggling with motherhood. She said I have two children who are healthy. I have a really good husband who has a job we have a nice little home. I have a job like I have a million reasons that I should be content in life. And then she said you know she started to cry and she said but i don't i don't i don't feel good. I don't feel happy and I know that I should. And she said every day is the same thing. Like I wake up at 530 I get the kids up I get him dressed I get their backpacks packed, I feed them some breakfast, I throw them in the van. I take them to the babysitter I go to work I work till 12 I get off at 12 and I have a 45 minute lunch I run to Walmart and do the grocery shopping or I pay the bills or I make dentist appointments. I come back to work at one o'clock or so and I work till five I get off at five I go grab the girls I get them home I get them on pack I get them settled I start cooking supper. My husband comes home at six we have dinner we have just a little bit of time to play with the girls because we're cleaning up and we're doing laundry and Trying to get everything ready for the next day. And she goes, and then I go to bed. And she goes, I'm completely wiped. And she started to cry. And she said, and then I wake up and I do the exact same thing again the next day, Kim. And she said, I know I have a million reasons to be happy, I just didn't know I was gonna lose myself this much in motherhood. And I said, Madeline, when's the last time you gave yourself time, just for you. And she said, I didn't know I was allowed to. She said, I thought I was just supposed to suck this up for the next 18 or 20 years. Because this is what it means to be a mother. And I said, Madeline, that's what it meant to be a mother for the mothers before us. But I said you have a right to claim yourself in your space within motherhood. For two reasons. One, children all day long will take a totally imperfect parent, and a happy parent over an unhappy parent who is trying to function perfectly. And let me say that, again, children will they want a happy parent, they don't want a perfect parent, they want a happy parent. And of course, we're not gonna be happy all of the time. But they want a parent Unknown Speaker who Kim is feeling good a lot of the time in their life. And the second thing I said, I said, Madeline, here's the deal. I said, your two daughters. You, I want you to think about what you're modeling for them. Because someday when they're 2829 30, whatever, and they choose to have a family of their own. Do you want them to feel like you do? Or do you want them to have been raised by a mother who loved herself enough to know that she counted while she was in the throes of motherhood, that there are parts of her before she became a partner before she became a wife before she became a mother, that still get to count. Because the way that you bring the best version of yourself to your family is knowing that you count and what this means people is this means that you are not selfish for putting yourself first, you are not selfish for claiming some space in your life that is just for you. Now, this is gonna be hard to hear, but I'm gonna say it. If you can't find one hour out of 24 hours every single day, that's just for you. I think you have a problem. And I know this is hard to do. And I know some of you're like, well wait a minute, I have like, you know, a six month old baby, okay, if you have a baby under the age of six months, you probably don't have it. But if you have children, you have a right to claim an hour, that is 1/24 of your day. Now, here's the deal. This means that maybe your partner puts the kid to bed three nights a week, because you're going to take a walk, this means that you ask for help. This means that you say, Hey, you know, I know with my own sister in law, you know, she had two young kids. And she worked four days out of five days a week. And she was you know, feeling really guilty. She was like, you know, on Fridays, I feel like I need that day to like, clean the house and do the grocery shopping. And I don't feel good taking the kid to the sitter, like I don't know what to do, Kim, like, I don't have any time for myself. And then her job switched. And she was, um, she was working four days, one week and three days the next week, and I said, Rachel, on the day, when you have a three day work week, on that Thursday, take the kid to the sitter, take the kids to the sitter and go get your exercise class in and do your grocery shopping for the weekend and clean your house. Like it's okay, you have to figure out what you need in order to feel good, not after you've raised children, but during this process of raising children. And so as as women and as people, we have to start valuing ourselves. And this is a self love issue. I like the word that Nancy Jane Smith uses which is self loyalty, right? It's the fact that you know, to choose yourself, and that you're worthy of receiving the gift of choosing your self, you are worthy of that. And the world cannot give you value. If you don't value yourself, you have to start valuing yourself, you have to say, Hey, I know what it takes for me to feel good and I don't have to compare it to someone else. You know, I have a great friend who Trish who's probably a lot lower maintenance than me. I mean, what Kim Strobel needs and what Trish needs are two different things. Kim Strobel needs to exercise every day for an hour. Kim struggle needs to go get a 90 minute massage every Friday. I'm what I need to feel good is different than what Trish needs to feel good. And I don't have to compare it. I don't have to be like, Oh, I need so much more time than she does or I need different things. Why can't I just be satisfied? I don't have to be like that. All I have to know is how does my my soul want to show up what feels good and best to me. And then how can you start claiming some parts of that for yourself, because in all honesty, its priorities you guys, I mean, you're some of you who are saying like I don't have any time, Kim, I don't have time, that's BS. That's Bs, because you're scrolling social media or you're bingeing on Netflix, which I have no problem with, I do the same, but it's where you are prioritizing yourself. And the only way that you're going to accomplish this is not if you schedule yourself in last in your calendar, you have to schedule yourself, first, schedule yourself first in your calendar, and then fill in all of the other piece pieces around. Because you have a right my friends, you know, we're everything is an energy flow back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And so when you're constantly putting yourself at the bottom of a list, you're sending a clear message to the universe that says, hey, I don't count. So don't bestow gifts upon me, don't let good things happen to me, because I don't even value and love myself enough to know that I deserve to have this time. Okay, so that's your self care mindset to wrap this up, here's what I want you to know, one, you are not selfish for putting yourself first, when your cup is full, only then can you give to others, I'm a better wife, I'm a better mother, I'm a better friend, whenever I know that I have filled my cup up first. Second, if you can't find 1/24 of your, your day to give to yourself, whatever that looks like, sitting down and reading, having a hot cup of coffee or tea in the morning for 30 minutes before you go to work, you know, scheduling yourself to wake up 30 minutes before so you can have that time, or taking a walk every evening, whatever it is, you have a right to claim some passions that you had before you enter this whole thing called adulthood. All right, but you have to prioritize yourself in your calendar first. And let me tell you, when you start doing that, when you start showing the world, the universe, all of that, that you're putting out the energy that says, hey, I count, I matter. I am loving myself by doing this. And not only am I loving myself by doing this, but I'm modeling for my kids that I count to along the way. So there's your mini lesson on the self care mindset. If you're in the Facebook group, and you're watching this, I want to hear how are you going to start prioritizing yourself? What is an aha that you have from today's training? What are you going to start doing differently so that you can start getting different results in your life? I want to pop in here real quick and tell you about the happy Academy which launches later this summer. I think it's time to start doing things differently. When I think back to where would I be if I had not taken action to become who I am now. The honest truth stuck right where I used to be broke, tired, exhausted, unfulfilled, and afraid to shine my own light? Yes. Now I'm a motivational speaker making six figures with loyal audiences all around the world. Yes, now I have a podcast. Yes, I wake up every day excited to live my life. Yes, I still have obstacles to overcome, and things that get in the way. But I am a different person than I used to be. And that my friends has made all of the difference in the world. I no longer let perfectionism hold me back from going after what I want. I no longer let other people's opinions of me define who I am and how I show up in this world. And I no longer give my value away to people who will never give it back. How did I do it? here's the trick that caused a major breakthrough. I found leaders and coaches to guide me. I want to invite you to join me for the happy Academy that launches later this summer, where I will teach you how to overcome the obstacles that are holding you back. And that strategies that will help you tap in to the powerful, big bold woman you are meant to be. If you don't step forward with confidence, believing in the power of your dreams, you risk sitting on the sidelines your whole life, you risk never seeing your dreams manifest and you're playing small my friends does not serve the world. The world needs your magic. The world needs your magic step forth. Your time is now the world just can't afford to wait any longer. Go to struggle education comm forward slash the dash happy dash Academy forward slash to get on our waitlist so you are the first to know about when it launches later this summer. Thank you so much for joining me on the she finds joy show today. I'm so honored that you chose to listen to this episode. As always, this conversation will be continued in my free private Facebook group called she finds joy. You can join that group by going to Kim struggle comm forward slash Facebook to connect with other people just like you. Additionally, if this is your first time listening to the show, know that we drop a new episode every other Wednesday, so make sure you subscribe, go to whatever podcast app you use, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can do that directly. If you go to Kim Strobel comm forward slash review that will put you in Apple podcast where you can click on the subscribe button. And you can also leave a review. If you scroll down just a little bit, you can leave a five star review and write a few sentences letting me know what you thought. It's so very important to get people to leave a review for my podcast. The reviews helped me get higher on that icon iTunes list, and that will show up when people are searching for a new podcast and it will really help us get new subscribers. So if I could ask one little favor for you just to go to Kim struggle comm forward slash review. Give us a review. Give us a comment and let us know what's been helpful. Thank you so much for listening in. I am really honored to be a part of this community with you Transcribed by https://otter.ai