High-Maintenance—and Proud Of It!

Why Women Should Embrace the Label

The hubs and I recently took a blissful seven-day vacation to Cancun (sans kiddos … a once-a-year necessity!). It was a full week of poolside cocktails, time with my guy, and meeting new people.

Among the new people we met was a couple at the pool. I was chatting away with anyone and everyone … and oozing my usual intense and enthusiastic energy, and noticed a couple smiling at me as Scott and I headed toward the bar. I, of course, stopped to say hello and then continued on to grab our drinks.

After I’d walked away, the guy-half of the couple commented to Scott, “Your wife is high-maintenance, isn’t she, fella?”

My dear husband—light of my life—immediately felt a kinship with this man, and replied with a big smile, “She sure is.” And then he ran to the bar so he could tell me what the guy said and gloat!

Once upon a time, I would have taken this random man’s comment as a slam, a dig, a criticism.

Now? I relish the title. I think it’s a hell of a label to get to carry!

Women Deserve More

I’ve been labeled high maintenance for almost as long as I can remember. And I know I’m not alone. Women get slapped with this label for any number of reasons.

If you’ve ever “dared” to show that you care about your appearance, your grades, your job, your home … chances are, someone has felt compelled to give their opinion on it.

See, we’re supposed to want to strive for everything from good grades to good hair; we’re just not supposed to be seen as trying too hard to achieve them.

From an early age, girls are taught that it’s best to seem like you don’t require much at all—from your relationships, from your job, from life. This outdated social script tells us, “Be quiet, stay humble, don’t ask for too much. Be content with what you have.”

Well, screw that! It’s time to flip the script.

I am a striver. I want magnificence in every aspect of my life. The women I coach have that same drive. My Facebook group, Women Rising, is full of ladies who know they are deserving.

We have a message for the world: We. Want. MORE!

I believe the career you choose should light your pants on fire with the desire to show up and serve. The city you choose to live in should offer the excitement and opportunity you’re looking for. You should expect the friends and acquaintances you surround yourself with to support (and even share) your desire to play big.

If you can afford the big house, live in it. If you love the 5-inch heels, wear ’em. If you need five days a week at the gym for that killer bod, then take the time for yourself. If weekly massages are more your thing, then soak up that relaxation.

And if you want to become a million-dollar badass like I do, then go for it, Sister-Friend! I want to do big things for the women of this world. I want to provide my family with amazing freedom, fun, and opportunity. And I want to be in a position to “pay-it-forward,” to support causes and people I care about, to give generously where and when it counts.

If that makes me “high-maintenance,” well … sign me up!

High-Maintenance = High Standards

Look … ”high-maintenance” has gotten a bad rap. Women who wear that label are supposed to do so shamefully. But I wear it like a badge of honor!

Here’s a secret I’ve discovered: The women who are in the happiest, most successful relationships, who have the most extraordinary lives … they all have one thing in common.

They’re high-maintenance.

A high-maintenance woman has high standards and expectations of herself and those around her. She’s selective about the people she lets into her life. She knows her worth, and expects others to treat her with the dignity and respect she deserves.

A high-maintenance women seeks out a partner who can match her. She knows the kind of relationship she wants and refuses to settle for less. She doesn’t want average; she wants extraordinary.

A high-maintenance woman knows what she wants and goes after it with zest. She’s ambitious and runs on high-octane fuel. And that fuel is what drives her to achieve the things she wants most from life.

A high-maintenance woman is confident. She stands up not only for herself but for other women, too. She doesn’t try to please everyone. She knows there’s really only one person whose happiness she’s responsible for: herself.

So, to Random Pool Guy in Cancun, I say this: Thank you. Thank you for recognizing that I’m strong, ambitious, powerful, happy, and successful.

Thank you for recognizing that I’m high-maintenance. Because I’m pretty damn proud of it!

EMBRACE YOUR HIGH-MAINTENANCE: Part of being high-maintenance is always striving to be the very best version of YOU. And my RISE UP program is helping women do just that! In 18 weeks, you can reclaim your passion, embrace your power, and start living your purpose. Want to know more? Get the deets here.