I had a moment last week where I thought this:
"I would like to release all of my responsibilities for one month and just see what would happen."
In my opinion, the whole damn world would fall apart.
Have you ever been there?! (Please tell me I'm not alone )
It's easy to see my social media profile and think that, because I travel and speak about happiness and truly, genuinely am living my best life, I don't fall apart.
But I do.
Because I'm human.
And it's just as important for you to see this side, too.
So here's me, being real and vulnerable, sharing some real thoughts that came up for me during my meltdown last week.
- being the one people just count on to run things
- my leadership personality because it means I always have to take the lead and get crap done
- carrying the weight
- being the one who has to sacrifice her job because other things have become a priority
- all the visible and "invisible jobs" I feel like I have
- taking care of things just because it's most convenient for everyone else
This is me falling apart because it's all finally piled up. And this is me in front of my gratitude journal, trying to come up with five damn things to be thankful for.
Maybe we should be ok with falling apart and give ourselves the space and grace to do so.
My friend, Krista, shared a perspective on this social post last week, and it really stuck with me.
"While the discomfort feels unbearable at times, sitting WITH it and honoring the gifts of what those big feelings are trying to say will shift so much for us."
Intuitively I knew that sitting with the big feelings was the "right thing to do." But it's hard! Especially when you're in it. Her perspective gave me permission I didn't realize I wasn't giving myself.
So that's what I did. I sat WITH the big feelings for two days. It looked like sulking, crying, pouting, and frowning. Oh, and some big-time snuggles from Sophie Rose, who acted as my emotional support dog.
And I got through it.
Do you ever feel like everything falls on you? Do you feel alone in your feelings?
If you're in need of a little reminder (or even permission), here it is. Let your big feelings be. Sit WITH them. Stop trying to plow through them just to get to the other side.
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