You know that feeling when you’re working hard, you’re doing your best, and you still feel unappreciated, unnoticed, and uncared for?
Maybe you’ve felt it in a job or even a relationship. You end up feeling… well, worthless or not good enough.
Not knowing or understanding my worth has played out many times in my life, especially when bosses from the ‘good ol’ boys club’ were sitting in the high seat.
Thankfully, I've encountered wonderful men in these seats as well, but still....you know the ones I'm talking about.
Maybe I was too confident for a woman. Maybe I was more knowledgable than them. Maybe I had a voice, and for some men, they didn’t want women to have voices or strong opinions.
Or sometimes, it was women who were petty and tried to put me in my place. Maybe they were threatened by my confidence and my spirit. Maybe they didn’t like my running legs (I do run 40 darn miles a week!), my progressive ways of teaching, or the fact that I smiled...a lot.
Some tried to demoralize me or make me feel less than because I navigated the world differently.
They made sure to “put me in my place” every chance they got. It was frustrating, and frankly, one of the reasons I work for myself now—I know my value and what I’m worth more than I used to.
Or maybe it was on me at times. Maybe I didn’t know how to recognize or demand my value. Maybe I was too afraid to stand up for myself. Maybe I stayed away from conflict because I didn’t believe enough in myself.
Regardless, I have had a lot of growing to do, and one of my biggest lessons has been learning to own my value.
It’s important not to take things personally and realize you are not in the right place for yourself. And once you know your value, the world opens up for you.
So, how do you start to take charge of your self-worth and walk through life with confidence? The first step is to recognize the ways you give away your value.
Do you do any of the following?
The list goes on and on….
And listen, I, too, struggle with some of these. For example, I struggle to draw boundaries around my work life when my momma wants to call me during a typical workday and ask for something.
I struggle to state my own opinion when I feel uncomfortable or afraid of conflict.
I have given WAAAYYYY too much advice away for free.
These are all signs that we all struggle with embracing our self-worth and may be missing out on huge opportunities because of it.
So, pick one of the items on the list above and just start noticing when you do it.
After noticing, decide to do it differently. It's that simple.
When someone compliments you, look them in the eyes and say, "thank you."
When a friend buys you coffee, do the same. Don't say, "You shouldn't have done that."
When you're asked where you want to eat, pick a place.
You will begin to see that when you learn to value yourself, the world will then value you.
And remember, if you can't see your value, the world can't give you value back.