I’m by nature a giver and an overachiever. I give, achieve, and do because it feels good. I love to pump energy, light, and encouragement towards people who need them, and it makes me happy to see people find their joy again.
And, I get the reward of gratitude and a job well done, and because it’s my job as a coach, I’m also compensated in money, and it’s a fair exchange.
It isn’t just my work, though, where I’m a giver. I also think I hustle my heart out in all areas of my life for other reasons, such as proving my goodness to others. I’m out here trying to prove I’m a good mom, a good wife, a good steward, and a good friend.
I work hard trying to prove I’m a good business owner, a good listener, and a good daughter. This list goes on and on. It’s as if my value at the end of the day is based on how much I’ve done for others or how much I’ve accomplished in my job or home. And this is a problem in and of itself.
Sometimes, I give too much. Sometimes I find I’m shining, trying to be a light in the world, and I’m getting nothing back but darkness. Or I start to feel resentful. I give and give and give in to the void until it’s me who’s empty; it’s me who’s burnt out. And that’s where the shit storm begins.
This is what burnout looks and feels like to me.
I’m irritated at every single thing. Every person gets on my last damn nerve. I walk through the house at an even faster pace, griping at how messy and dirty it is and yelling, “We can’t even fix ourselves healthy meals around this house.” I see every stinkin’ negative thing I can think of, and it’s like I’m laser-focused on all the shit that’s going wrong.
I also get super-judgy of others because I’m secretly resentful of their so-called laziness. “Look at her…all she has to worry about is planting an herb garden. Who has time for that crap?” Or “Wow, it must be nice to be on vacation… again.” I feel pissed off at the world. My blood is coursing through my brains, and my whole body feels amped up yet drained. It’s as if I’m on fire, and no one knows I’m burning.
I recently took a poll in my free Facebook Group, She Finds Joy, and asked, “What does burnout feel like?” Here are some of the answers.
- It feels like I’m suffocating and can never get ahead.
- It feels like I’m everything to everyone, but I don’t count in the equation.
- It feels like depression and lost from the person I used to be.
- It feels like a mixture of feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed because I’m not allowed to do the things that once brought me joy outside of all of my roles.
Anyone else feel this way?
This is why I create the Happy Academy, to help you overcome burnout. Get on the wait-list for our Happy Academy, 10 month program that begins in August.